Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is increasingly common today to see consumers purchase products or treatments which might help them look youthful. In my opinion, this is fundamentally a highly negative development. I believe this because it lead to unnoticeable results, and furthermore, it will generate financial burden.

The primary reason to this trend as a negative trend is consumers used uncountable products, and the results still unnoticeable. To explain further, purchasers used different products and treatments but the results still remain unchanged. For example, CY company new invented skincare product to reduced dark circles. But lots of consumers complained the outcome is still remain unchanged, which they had already bought the product couple of times. Consequently, all of these speedings only resulted as self-consolation.

Furthermore, this development is detrimental because it will lead to financial burden. For instance, purchasing a skincare product or a treatment usually cost a lot of money, which created a lot of unnecessary spending. A clear illustration of this is a regular consumer been purchasing such company products for years which accumulated a massive amount of money, but the results remain the same. Therefore, it is evident that this shift creates tons of unnecessary purchases and also created financial burden.

In conclusion, the shift toward will products or treatments make consumers look younger is undoubtedly a negative progression. This is because most of the time skincare products resulted as unnoticeable or remain unchanged, and it ultimately created a lot of unnecessary spendings and all of these just a self-consolation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider anti-ageing products and treatments a negative development. You also give two relevant reasons—results may be ineffective and the spending can create a financial burden—and support them with examples about a skincare product and a regular consumer. This addresses the task, but the ideas are not equally developed: the first example is more specific, while the financial argument largely repeats that products cost money without explaining the wider consequences or giving concrete detail. The claim that results are generally unchanged is also broad. To strengthen the response, explain why consumers continue buying ineffective products and develop the financial example with a clearer, realistic consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates the position. Linking expressions such as “To explain further,” “Furthermore,” and “Therefore” help show the intended progression, and the reader can follow the main argument. However, some connections feel mechanical, and ideas are repeated rather than advanced—for example, the unchanged results are stated several times in the first body paragraph and conclusion. References such as “this development” and “all of these” are not always precise, and the final paragraph’s opening is difficult to follow. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence add a distinct point, with clear references to the specific products, results, or costs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your argument, including “treatments,” “dark circles,” “financial burden,” and “unnecessary spending.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “detrimental” and “negative progression.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “unnoticeable results” does not clearly mean ineffective results, “speedings” is not the intended noun, and “self-consolation” is awkward in this context. Repetition of “results,” “products,” and “unchanged” also narrows the range. Build a more precise set of expressions for effectiveness and cost, and check whether each noun and verb naturally combines with its surrounding words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which” and “because,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. Examples include “it lead to,” “company new invented,” “to reduced,” and “the results still remain unchanged.” The sentence beginning “A clear illustration of this is a regular consumer been purchasing” is particularly difficult to parse, while “the shift toward will products” disrupts the conclusion. Practise accurate past and present verb forms, and check that each sentence has a complete, correctly ordered clause. Aim to make complex sentences reliable before adding more.

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