Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the modern world, individuals are purchasing beauty products to look younger than their age. However, these heavy products have a worse effect on the skin and cost more than traditional beauty methods. This essay will discuss this in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, the use of fashionable products for the face has a bad effect on health. Moreover, sometimes people taking supplements or having beauty surgeries to look younger go the wrong way, which leads to skin damage and destroys the functioning of inner parts like the kidneys. For Instance, Actors or actresses usually go for expensive products and surgeries to look young, in addition to getting back-to-back roles in movies just because of their youthful looks.

Furthermore, these treatments cost more, which tends to waste money. If we went to the beauty market, these products not only cost more but also come out of pocket for middle-class members. Due to which, they have to go with local, cheaper products without any knowledge and those cheap items react in the wrong way on their skin. To illustrate, treatments like lip fillers or extensions are way more in demand because of that, businesses charge higher prices. Therefore, some people do not fulfill their demands due to the cost.

In conclusion, although a new era is beginning towards the use of costly products or treatments for their looks, but it has negative effects on the body, and the cost is higher, leading to overspending on harmful chemical products such as lip fillers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear negative position, focusing on possible health risks and the expense of appearance-related products and procedures. These points are relevant to the question, and the examples of cosmetic surgery, fillers and actors help illustrate them. However, the response only partly develops the evaluation: it does not explain whether any benefits—such as improved confidence or personal choice—might make these treatments worthwhile, nor does it clearly distinguish safe products from harmful or unregulated ones. Some claims, including that treatments damage the kidneys, are asserted without explanation or support. To strengthen the response, address the “good or bad” judgement more fully and develop each main reason with a specific, credible explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The body paragraphs also group related points, with health effects discussed before cost, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” make the overall direction easy to follow. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For example, the connection between middle-class consumers choosing cheaper products and those products causing skin reactions needs a more explicit explanation. “Due to which” is an awkward sentence opening, while the conclusion repeats the two main points rather than drawing them together. Use clearer referencing and transitions that show cause and effect precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “beauty surgeries,” “supplements,” “skin damage,” “lip fillers” and “costly products.” There is also some attempt to use less common expressions, such as “come out of pocket” and “back-to-back roles.” However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural, which limits clarity: “heavy products” does not clearly describe the products, “go the wrong way” is vague, and “fulfill their demands” does not fit the intended meaning. Repetition of “products,” “cost” and “look younger” also narrows the range. Aim for precise collocations and vary key terms, while checking that idiomatic expressions suit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “products that help them to look younger” and a conditional structure beginning “If we went to the beauty market.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors and awkward constructions reduce accuracy. For example, “people taking supplements or having beauty surgeries … go the wrong way” has an unclear subject structure, and “Due to which, they have to go…” is not a well-formed sentence connection. The conclusion also uses the conflicting conjunctions “although … but.” Practise building complex sentences with clear subjects and complete clauses, and check punctuation and sentence boundaries, especially when linking causes and results.

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