Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, individual can able to pay for treatments and purchase several cosmetics products in order to look younger. In my opinion, I believe that it is a positive development.
In this essay, I will discuss the reasons with some relevant examples.
To begin with, there are a myraid of reasons behind this trend. One of the most primary reason is cost of these products and easily available in any stores. To explain more, compare to the past, skin care products are becoming cheaper because of compitative market. Therefore, people may easily affort those products. Likewise, because of advancement in technology, human being may buy it on online websites with just one click away which saves a valuable time. For instance, Nitrogena, famous skin care brand products are available on online website with some discounts on it.
In addition to that, more and more people aware about their skin routine especially younger generations. Hence, Individuals can able to pay for their treatments because almost all skin care clinics offer yearly or monthly packages to their customers which is benefical for both of them. To cite an exmaple, one clinic offer combo package for skin whitening and hair removal in some decent amount of price which helps customers to do both at the time with saving the money. As a result, because of this attractive advertisements and combo packages people can easily affort their treatments.
In conclusion, cost-effective prices and avaibility of the products can make work easier for people, and different offers also alluer customers for their skin treatments which helps them to save money.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
Your position is clear: you consider the trend positive, and you give relevant reasons involving affordability, online access, and clinic packages. The examples of discounted Neutrogena products and a combined skin-whitening and hair-removal offer help illustrate these points. However, the response only partly addresses whether this is a good or bad development because it focuses mainly on why products and treatments are accessible, rather than explaining their broader benefits to people or considering possible drawbacks. Several claims are also under-developed; for example, the clinic package is described as saving money, but its effect on people’s wellbeing or confidence is not explained. Develop each reason with a clearer link to your overall judgement and more specific support.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “To begin with” and “In addition to that,” and a conclusion. The examples generally follow the points they are intended to support, so the reader can follow the main line of argument. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated transitions such as “Therefore,” “Hence,” and “As a result,” rather than clearer links between the ideas. Some references are also unclear, as in “which is beneficial for both of them,” where the two parties are not identified precisely. The conclusion repeats affordability and offers without fully drawing together the argument. Use more precise referencing and make the relationship between each reason and your judgement explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “skin care products,” “advancement in technology,” “yearly or monthly packages,” and “attractive advertisements.” These choices communicate the general subject and show some attempt to use less common language. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “compitative,” “affort,” “avaibility,” and “alluer” are misspelled, while “a myraid of reasons” and “decent amount of price” are not natural expressions. There is also repetition of “products,” “people,” and “skin care.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, and vary repeated terms with precise alternatives such as “cosmetics,” “consumers,” or “treatments” where appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “especially.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “individual can able to pay” should be “individuals can pay,” and “more and more people aware” needs a verb, such as “are aware.” In “one clinic offer,” the subject and verb do not agree, while “people may easily afford those products” would be more accurate than the current construction. Practise building accurate basic clauses first, then add subordinate clauses; check each sentence for a complete verb phrase and correct subject–verb agreement.
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