Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent days, most population are attracted to getting treatments done to look younger.In my opinion, it is bad thing for people.It is affected the pople health orincresing social compitions.

Firstly,the people taking the medications to look good affects the individuals health both mentally and physicaly. Moreover, it is too expensive because this process needs regular medications.For example,In those treatment use many chemical or laser so it is direct affected physicaly.That type of medication is too expensive therefore is mentally distrubing.So,I think the people thing twice before getting such treatment.

Secondly,when the people getting those type of surgery is incrising social compition.Some times the result of those surgery is very weird.It is look very scary and the people ignore theri uniqunes.For instnce,every one want that type of surgery so in communtity all people look same the level of comiption inscreising is not good for society.Thus, the comman man should thing once before getting those surgery.It is not good for people as well as community.

In conclusion,I believe that is bad thing for people as well as society beacuse it is affected the individual health.Moreover it is incresing compitions so there badly affected the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you consider treatments and products for looking younger to be harmful, and you give two relevant reasons—possible health effects and increased social competition. The examples about chemicals or lasers and people looking alike help connect these points to the topic. However, the ideas are only briefly explained, and some claims remain unclear, such as how the treatments affect mental health or how competition harms society. The response also does not meet the required 250-word minimum, so there is limited space to develop your reasoning and examples. To strengthen the response, explain each cause and consequence more fully and add a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to identify. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear explanation. For example, the link between expensive treatment and being “mentally disturbing” is not made explicit, and the second paragraph moves from unusual results to everyone looking the same and then to competition. Repeated connectors such as “Moreover,” “For example,” and “Thus” can feel mechanical. Use clearer cause-and-effect links and develop one point at a time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small set of relevant topic words, including “treatments,” “medications,” “surgery,” “health,” and “society,” which makes your general meaning understandable. There are also attempts to express more specific ideas, such as “social competition” and “uniqueness.” However, vocabulary is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to interpret, including “incrising,” “comiption,” and “communtity.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “getting treatments done” and “the people ignore their uniqueness.” Build a more accurate range of expressions for discussing cosmetic procedures, costs, risks, and social pressure, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences using connectors such as “because,” “so,” and “therefore.” This shows an effort to explain relationships between ideas. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences hard to understand. For example, “It is affected the pople health” has an incorrect verb form and sentence structure, while “when the people getting those type of surgery is incrising social compition” lacks a correctly formed clause and has agreement problems. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “It is bad thing” and “those surgery.” Practise accurate subject–verb patterns and build longer sentences from correct clauses; use full stops and spaces consistently.

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