Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, everyone wants to look younger and it is possible for people to buy many products or pay for the treatment due to advancement in technology. This essay will include the reasons and relevant examples of why I believe this is not a good thing for people.

One of the main reasons why I believe it is a negative trend because people have better options like yoga and exercise to look younger rather than spending lots of money on these products and treatments. Moreover, doing execise and working out at gym does not have any side effects like these products and treatments to look younger.For instance, these products and treatments include harsh chemicals which can damage your skin. In some cases, people who have tried these products and treatments look uglier than before because of its side effects.

Other reason for not using these products and treatments is that they are very expensive and can't be afford by middle-class family. However, some companies have tried to make similar products with reasonable price but they include low levels of ingredients to reduce the price. Therefore, customers easily get attracted to these products which leads them to damage their skin. Last but not least reason is that companies who make these products do not want to take any responsibilties and that is why they do not give any gurantee that it will make you look younger, so customers have to take risk to buy these products which sometimes can impact negatively on their skin.

To conclude, I understand that everyone wants to look younger but there are some safer ways

to look young rather than putting risk on buying these expensive products and going through treatments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider products and treatments for looking younger a negative trend, and the conclusion reinforces this view. You address the question with relevant reasons, including possible skin damage, expense, and the availability of exercise as an alternative. The example of harsh chemicals helps explain one concern. However, some points are asserted rather than fully supported: the claim that companies avoid responsibility, for example, would be stronger with a specific explanation or example. The comparison with exercise also needs more careful development, since it is presented as a way to look younger without explaining how reliably it achieves this. More precise support and fuller development of these points would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from alternatives and side effects to cost and company responsibility. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “Therefore” help show relationships between points. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical, and some references are unclear. In “because of its side effects,” it is not immediately clear whether “its” refers to a product, treatment, or the combined category. The second body paragraph also strings several claims together, while “Other reason” and “Last but not least reason” make the organisation sound formulaic. Use clearer referencing and vary how you introduce and connect supporting points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “side effects,” “harsh chemicals,” “reasonable price,” and “customers.” However, the range is limited by repeated phrases such as “products and treatments” and “look younger,” and several word choices or forms are inaccurate. Examples include “execise,” “responsibilties,” and “gurantee,” as well as “can't be afford,” where the expression is not formed correctly. “Uglier” is also an imprecise and potentially overstrong way to describe an adverse result. To improve, build a wider set of accurate terms for cosmetic procedures, affordability, and skin damage, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using structures such as “because,” “which,” and “that is why” to explain causes and consequences. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and reduce accuracy. For example, “One of the main reasons … because” is missing a linking structure such as “is that”; “can't be afford” has an incorrect verb form; and “people who have tried … look uglier … because of its side effects” has unclear agreement and reference. There are also missing spaces after full stops, as in “younger.For instance,” and “younger.For” should be separated by punctuation and spacing. Practise accurate clause construction, passive forms, and agreement while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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