Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Cosmetic products has become popular these days. Many individuals use these products to hide their actual age. Some people believe this as a positive development while a few called this a negative. In my opinion, this is a bad thing.

Firstly, there are several reasons to justify that this is not a good move. The most prominent one is that this is one of the reason for destruction of wildlife. Most of the cosmetic products are made up of animal's skin. Basically, people are harming animals to look younger which is an unethical practise.

Another reason is that hiding the original age can be considered as a fraudulent in some cases. Possibility of hiding real age can help criminals to get rid from the police officers. To elaborate, one can do a criminal offence and can use these products to hide their real identity, which can cause serious trouble as officers may face difficulties to identify an imposter.

However, there are few positive factors of this situation. One of them is that it fosters the confidence of an individual. A few individuals usually experience insecurity becuase of their old age. By using these products, they can boost their confidence in public. There are such positive uses of these treatments such as plastic surgery in hospitals.

To conclude, as there are some good things about treatments to help people look youngers which are increasing self confidence and corporate use of these products in hospitals but these are not as significant as the negatives, which are destroying wildlife for their own benefit and deceptive personality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend a bad thing, while acknowledging some benefits. You address both sides and give relevant reasons, including harm to animals, possible criminal misuse, and increased confidence. However, some points are not fully explained or convincingly connected to products and treatments for looking younger. For example, the claim that cosmetics are made from animals’ skin is broad and would benefit from a specific, accurate example; the link between appearance treatments and criminals evading police is also asserted rather than demonstrated. The positive point about confidence is clearer, but the reference to plastic surgery in hospitals is not developed. Explain each main idea with a concrete example and make the comparison supporting your negative position more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for negative and positive points, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Another reason,” and “However” help readers recognise the shifts in argument. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. At times, though, links feel mechanical, and references such as “this” and “these products” do not always identify the idea precisely. The conclusion also combines several points in one long sentence, making the final comparison harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and refer directly to the specific treatment or consequence being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “wildlife,” “unethical,” “fraudulent,” “insecurity,” and “confidence,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “To elaborate.” However, noticeable word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems limit precision. For instance, “a fraudulent” is not a natural use of the adjective, “get rid from” is an inaccurate phrase, and “look youngers” is incorrectly formed. “Destruction of wildlife” and “deceptive personality” are also awkward in context. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they make parts sound unnatural. Focus on accurate word partnerships and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “Possibility of hiding real age can help criminals…” and a subordinate clause beginning “which can cause serious trouble.” The main argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “Cosmetic products has become” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “one of the reason” needs a plural noun. Articles and sentence construction are also inconsistent, as in “the original age” and the lengthy concluding sentence beginning “as there are some good things.” Aim for more reliable agreement, articles, and plural forms, and divide long sentences when their structure becomes difficult to control. This will improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex grammar.

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