Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, it has become possible for people to purchase several products or getting their treatments done which helps them look younger. I believe it is a positive development because it makes people more attractive and beautiful, boosting their confidence and self-esteem, increasing the opportunities for work.

One of the main reasons why people get beauty treatments is that they want to look atractive and feel more self-aasured. When people go through hormonal changes, they have to face numerous problems associated with skin, such as acne, dark circles, and uneven tone which make them look older than their actual age. These skin issues can make them self-concious and unconfident. In this modern world, individuals can get rid of these problems through timely massage and other advanced treatments which are widely available in all countries. As a result, they feel more confident, and look elegant. For instance, during puberty children go through many physical changes, such as development of body hair, acne, and dark patches under eyes which not only make them hesitant, but also insure in their everyday life, affecting their confidence level. Therefore, it is a positive development.

Another major reason for getting beauty treatments is that it increases people's self-esteem and chances to get employment in certain fields, including cinema, theatre, and beauty competitions. If they are assertive and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider appearance-related products and treatments a positive development, mainly because they can improve confidence and employment prospects. The discussion of skin concerns and work in fields such as cinema and theatre is relevant. However, the response is incomplete: the second supporting point stops at “If they are assertive and”, so it is not explained or illustrated, and the conclusion is missing. The example about puberty also focuses on young people’s skin changes rather than clearly showing how treatments help people look younger. The response is 28 words below the required minimum. Develop both reasons with specific explanation and examples, then finish with a concise conclusion that restates your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a clear progression from confidence to employment opportunities. Phrases such as “One of the main reasons” and “Another major reason” help signal the organisation. However, the second body paragraph ends abruptly, leaving its main idea unfinished, and there is no concluding paragraph to bring the argument together. Some links are also repetitive: “Therefore, it is a positive development” repeats the position already stated in the introduction. The example in the first body paragraph is not fully connected to the claim about looking younger. Complete each paragraph’s point, use clearer links between examples and claims, and add a conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “self-esteem,” “hormonal changes,” “uneven tone,” and “employment.” These choices allow you to discuss appearance, confidence, and work opportunities. There are also attempts at more specific phrasing, such as “advanced treatments” and “beauty competitions.” Some spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “atractive,” “self-aasured,” “self-concious,” and “insure” where the intended meaning appears to be insecurity or hesitation. Phrases such as “timely massage” are also unclear in this context. Check spelling carefully and choose natural collocations; for example, explain which treatments address particular skin concerns rather than using a vague phrase.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “skin issues … which make them look older” and a conditional opening in “When people go through hormonal changes.” Most of the meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors are present, however. In the opening, “possible for people to purchase … or getting” does not maintain a parallel verb form; use “to purchase … or to get.” The clause “products or … treatments … which helps” also has an agreement problem, since the subject is plural. In “it increases people's self-esteem and chances,” the pronoun reference is unclear. The final sentence is incomplete, so it cannot show a complete grammatical relationship. Review parallel structures, subject–verb agreement, and sentence completion.

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