Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary world, Usage of beauty product and surgical treatments has become a topic of discussion. while some advocate beauty treatments because it enable people to boost their self confidence, others argue that people can exploit insecurities to force people to buy unnecessary beauty products. In my view, this is a negative trend, whitch has serious impact on society.

To begin with, pepole tend to spend more money on beauty products because it provides self cofidence to individuals. When people get older, some tend to be insecure about their appierence. Those people tend to expend more of their income to purchace expensive beauty procucts such as face creams and lotions. Some people take this obsession to the next level and choose to under go sugeries and other exessive treatments. However, in my perspective, people have to accept the bitter truth that people cant stop the ageing regardless of how much money they spend.

Moveover, most of the people who choose to spend exessive amout of money on beauty treatments are often insecure about their looks, Those type of vulnerabilities are easy to exploit scammers. Currenly, there are various ileginamate businesses whitch are claming they can slow down the aging proccess. Some people believe those false claims and choose to pay substantial amount of money holping they will lokk younger after using those products. Ultimately, They will loosing thier hard earned money.

In conclusion, There is a growing popularity of beauty products and treatments in recent decades. People tend to purchace more of those treatments because of their insecurities lack of self confidence. In my prespective this is a negative develompent because it is unnatural and imposible to stop the aging process and anyone who is claiming they

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you consider the growing use of anti-ageing products and treatments a negative trend. You address both the appeal of these products, such as increased confidence, and the risk of businesses exploiting insecurity. However, the discussion is only partly developed. For example, you state that people spend more because products provide confidence, but do not explain how this benefit weighs against the harms. The point about scams is relevant, yet it would be stronger with a specific example and clearer explanation of the consequences. The conclusion also ends mid-sentence (“anyone who is claiming they…”), so it does not fully summarise your reasoning. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example and complete the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally focus on relevant points, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help show the intended sequence. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the first body paragraph moves from confidence to ageing and surgery without fully connecting these ideas, while the second repeats the concern about insecurity. Some linking is mechanical, and references such as “Those type of vulnerabilities” are not clearly integrated with the preceding sentence. The unfinished final sentence also disrupts the ending. Build each paragraph around one main claim, then connect its explanation and example explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self confidence,” “insecure,” “exploit,” “substantial amount,” and “ageing process.” These choices show an effort to discuss both personal motivations and commercial risks. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word forms make the vocabulary less reliable and sometimes slow the reader: examples include “appierence,” “purchace,” “ileginamate,” and “develompent.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “take this obsession to the next level” and “bitter truth.” Aim for accurate spelling and more precise collocations, especially for key ideas. Proofreading carefully and learning topic phrases as complete expressions will help you communicate your meaning more smoothly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast structure in the introduction (“while some advocate… others argue…”) and a conditional idea about spending money. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, verb forms and punctuation sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “beauty treatments because it enable” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “They will loosing” uses an incorrect verb form. The final sentence is incomplete, and several sentences run together or use commas where a full stop is needed. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, and use shorter, accurate sentences before adding more complex structures.

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