Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these days, to looke younger than their age, people spend a large amount of money on distinct cosmetics and on treatments. I firmly believe that it is a negative approach as these anti-aging products and operations on body are expensive and can cause many incurable diseases.

The prime reason which makes this trend bad is that using various skin products and body treatment to look younger than origional age, many individuals are getting digonosed with dangerous life-long diseases such as cancer. This is because, these products and treatments contains harmful chemical that weakens the immune system of the body. Hence, many are becoming the patient with diseases which has no cure. For example, the radiations used for plastic surgery are very harmful that was the major factor of death of the famous star Micheal Jackson.

These chemical based treatments and products are not budget friendly. A large proportion of the population specially adults are following this trend. Many famous beauty brands and dermatologist claim that their facial and body creams have the age reversing ability and sell these things at very high cost. However, people come forward to purchase these. Thus, It hampers the budget of a common man which they may invest on their health or good quality food, and a large part of their income goes on these. For instance, the beauty companies like Sugar, Dove and, Keu-beauty are selling their cosmetics at very high prices.

In conclusion, to spend a large portion of the income on anti-aging poducts and treatments are becoming the reason of many diseases and their high costs deprive individuals from various essential things of their daily use. I believe that instead of wasting money on such anti-aging things one should involve in regular exercises and should have balanced diet to keep them fit which automatically make them healthy to look younger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider anti-ageing products and treatments a negative development, and the conclusion restates this view. You address the question with two relevant reasons—possible health risks and financial cost—and support them with examples, including beauty brands and the claim about Michael Jackson. This covers the task well, but the ideas are not equally convincing or fully developed. In particular, the link between cosmetic treatments, cancer and the example given is asserted rather than explained or supported, which weakens the first argument. Develop each reason with a more reliable, specific explanation and show how it affects people. Your suggestion of exercise and a balanced diet is relevant, though it could be connected more directly to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for health and cost, and a conclusion. The progression from one reason to the next is easy to follow, and signposts such as “The prime reason,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. Some linking is mechanical, however, particularly the repeated use of “Thus” and “For example,” and a few connections between claims are not fully clear. For instance, the move from harmful chemicals to diseases “which has no cure” needs a more explicit explanation. There are also unclear references in “which they may invest,” where the reader must infer what “which” refers to. Use a wider range of natural links and make references precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “anti-aging products,” “immune system,” “life-long diseases,” and “balanced diet,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “a large proportion of the population.” However, inaccurate word choice, spelling and collocation are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less clear. Examples include “origional age,” “digonosed,” “chemical based treatments,” and “age reversing ability.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “becoming the patient with diseases” and “radiations used for plastic surgery.” Choose more precise, conventional expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully. This would make your ideas easier to understand and give your vocabulary greater control and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a conditional explanation beginning “This is because” and a concluding clause with “which automatically make them healthy.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “these products and treatments contains” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “diseases which has no cure” also needs agreement. Articles and sentence construction are sometimes inaccurate, as in “on body” and “to spend a large portion … are becoming the reason.” Punctuation is also inconsistent, including the comma after “because” and the capitalisation of “It” mid-sentence. Review agreement, articles and clause structure, then proofread punctuation while continuing to use varied sentence forms.

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