Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's modern world, an increasing number of people are spending money on various products and cosmetics treatments to maintain a youthful appearance. Although these treatments can boost self confidence and improve physical appearance, I believe that this is negative development because of some reasons which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, it is easy to understand why it is considered as a negative development. People spend huge amount of money for expensive skincare products, treatments and cosmetics procedures which increases financial pressure on the individuals. Moreover, sometimes people go for surgeries as a result they face complications, allergic reactions and side effects on their skin or body which puts negative impacts on their personal life because overuse of these products cause cancer and other life threatening diseases. In this time majority of the people are attracted towards these products due to the unrealistic beauty standards which is settled by social media. When they see advertisement on social media platform or any other platform they feel pressured to look young because they advertise their product by famous personalities such film actors or actresses and they people easily influenced.

On the contrary, there some advantages of these products. By using these products or treatments people look young which enhance their confidence level, improve self-esteem and social confidence. Apart from this, people who are working in modelling, acting and entertainment industry these things are crucial for getting professional opportunities because in these sectors people can survive with their physical appearence. For instance, if somebody working in modelling then most important thing is face and people always want they look young, confident, glowing, wrinkless and so on which is possible with these treatments. Advancement in technology is now focused on improvement in skin health and they makes product which may reduce wrinkles and save skin from sun.

In the final analysis, anti-ageing treatments can offer personal and professional benefits. However, financial costs, health risks and unrealistic beauty standards are major concerns. I think company's should invest in those products which are safe for the people and also under the reasonable rate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider the trend negative, while acknowledging benefits. You address both sides with relevant points, including financial pressure, possible health risks, social-media beauty standards, confidence, and opportunities in entertainment. This covers the task well, but some ideas are more fully explained than others. For example, the link between product overuse and “cancer and other life threatening diseases” is asserted without support or qualification, while the professional benefits are illustrated more specifically through modelling. The conclusion also introduces a recommendation for companies to make products safe and affordable, rather than fully drawing together your reasons for judging the trend negative. Develop key claims with careful explanation or a relevant example, and keep the final judgement consistent with your stated position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “On the contrary,” and “In the final analysis” helps readers follow the main stages. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The first body paragraph moves from cost to medical risks and then social-media pressure without showing how these points relate, and “In this time” does not clearly establish the intended link. The example about modelling also repeats the idea of looking young rather than extending it with a distinct detail. Use clearer transitions between related points, and organise each paragraph around a central claim followed by explanation and evidence. This would make progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including terms such as “financial pressure,” “allergic reactions,” “unrealistic beauty standards,” and “professional opportunities.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common vocabulary is attempted. At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or repetitive: “cosmetics treatments,” “puts negative impacts,” and “physical appearence” weaken precision, while “look young” recurs several times. There are also spelling and form slips, including “wrinkless” and “company's” where the plural noun is intended. Aim for more natural topic collocations and check spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish cosmetic procedures, skincare products, and medical treatments rather than grouping them together.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the opening (“Although these treatments can boost…”) and a conditional example about modelling. Meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors reduce accuracy. Examples include “there some advantages” (missing “are”), “which increases” after the plural subject “products, treatments and procedures,” and “they makes product,” where the subject and verb do not agree. The sentence beginning “Moreover, sometimes people go for surgeries” also joins clauses without appropriate punctuation. Articles and sentence boundaries need particular attention. Review each sentence for a complete subject and verb, agreement, and clear clause punctuation; this will help you retain your complex structures while making them more controlled.

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