Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that many people buy products and treatments to make them look younger. And i believe that this is a bad thing for most people. This essay will discuss two reasons for this opinion.

The first reason is that these products are very expensive. This is because anti aging creams vitamins and medical treatments can cost a lot of money. Many people spend their hard earned savings in this things. For example in the Philippines some women spend 10,000 to 15,000 pesos every month just for skin treatment. Because of this some of them dont have money for important things like food and education.

The second reason is that some of this products can be harmful for health. This is because some creams and treatments have chemicals on it that are bad for the skin. Also some surgeries can cause problems if it is not done well. People are eager to look young quickly so they do not have time to check if the product is safe or not. For instance i saw a woman who was featured in a tv program called kapuso mo jessica Soho. A friend of her offered her a cheap whitening cream that she saw on the internet after he uses the cream the woman starts having a skin problems. For example many doctors said that using using too many that contains chemical can make the skin worse. For this reason i think should be more careful.

In conclusion anti aging products and beauty treatments are very expensive and it can be dangerous for health. And i think using these products will be a bad thing if people use them too much.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend harmful, and the conclusion restates that view. You give two relevant reasons—financial cost and possible health risks—and support them with examples, including the monthly spending described in the Philippines and the whitening-cream story. This addresses the task and gives the reader a clear basis for your opinion. However, the development is uneven: the cost example is specific, while the health argument relies partly on broad claims such as “some creams and treatments have chemicals” and “many doctors said” without explaining the evidence. To strengthen the response, explain the consequences and limits of each point more fully, and make the example’s connection to the general issue explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “The first reason,” “The second reason,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. The examples are generally placed alongside the point they support. At times, however, linking is mechanical or unclear. Repeated “This is because” constructions make the argument sound formulaic, while the sequence around the television example and the following sentence about doctors is difficult to track. Some references, such as “this” in “this products” and “it” in “chemicals on it,” are not clear. Use a wider range of links and make pronoun references explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “anti aging creams,” “medical treatments,” “skin treatment,” and “harmful for health.” The examples also show an attempt to use topic-specific language. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or unnatural, including “spend their hard earned savings in this things,” “chemicals on it,” and “a skin problems.” Repetition of “products,” “treatments,” and “look young” also restricts flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and varied wording, such as “spend their savings on these products,” “contain harmful ingredients,” and “develop skin problems.” Accurate spelling and consistent forms will also make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including explanations with “because” and a conditional idea in “if it is not done well.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and attempts at longer sentences often contain several errors. Examples include “i believe,” “some of this products,” “if it is not done well,” and “after he uses the cream the woman starts having a skin problems.” These show problems with capitalization, agreement, articles, and tense consistency. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also sometimes missing, particularly in the example about the cream. Practise building complex sentences with one clear main clause, then check verb forms, singular/plural agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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