Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, it is convenient for individuals to purchase various types of beauty products or pay for skin treatments that allow then to look younger than their biological age. Although this trend has certain advantages, I believe the disadvantages are more significant.

To begin with, buying skin-care products can help in ecomony, which is the main benefit of it. In other words, nowadays, the usage of cosmetics has increased significantly among people which needs more employees to fullfil the demand of these items. For this reason, more people can receive their job and contribute to economy by paying tax to authorities. Moreover, after using skin or hair care items, people boost their productivity level because they feel confidence and enhance their interest in the work performance. For example, if a person has a video presentation and had done laser treatment on their face for look gorgeous professionally, this person can deliver their speech effectively without any hesitation.

Despite the benefits of the beauty products, the significant drawback is that these cosmetic items may have adverse reactions on skin because the number of toxic chemical is used in them to provide a better result. For instance, the research has proven that some contains in skin products can cause serious type of health problems, such as cancer in the long run. In addition, the high price of it is another negative point because this is a trend in materialistic world that expensive things are the better than cheaper items, so people always prefer buying the high-priced products, even some of them do not afford regualr skin products. Besides, sin some professions, including beauty stores require to wear make-up to show the result of their selling items. Hence, this might be difficult for staff to put on branded products on their face to look more younger.

In conclusion, buying many skin products or paying for procedure which help people to look younger. Although this can increase economical level and productivity of workers, I think this tendency may lead to side effects on face and unaffordable for all people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge benefits but argue that the disadvantages are more significant. You address both sides and give relevant reasons, including employment, confidence, possible health effects, and cost. The example of someone giving a presentation after a treatment helps illustrate the confidence point. However, some ideas are not fully explained or are difficult to connect to the question. The claim that cosmetics create jobs is broad, while the point about beauty-store staff being expected to wear make-up is unclear and not clearly tied to whether the trend is good or bad. Develop fewer points more fully, and explain how each supports your overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To begin with,” “Despite the benefits,” and “In conclusion” makes the direction easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “For this reason” connects increased demand to employment, but the explanation could be more precise; “Besides” introduces the beauty-store point without showing how it relates to the preceding cost argument. The conclusion also repeats the main points rather than drawing them together clearly. Use referencing carefully and make the relationship between each supporting idea and the paragraph’s main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “skin treatments,” “cosmetics,” “adverse reactions,” “productivity,” and “materialistic.” These choices help communicate the subject and show attempts to use less common language. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling sometimes make the meaning awkward: “help in ecomony,” “receive their job,” “some contains,” and “look more younger” are examples. There is also repetition of “products” and “people,” and some phrases sound unnatural, such as “the better than cheaper items.” Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling and word forms. Using a few accurate alternatives for beauty products and treatments would also reduce repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “Although,” “because,” and “which,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and verb forms. For example, “which needs more employees” has an unclear reference and agreement, while “if a person has a video presentation and had done laser treatment” shifts tense awkwardly. The final sentence is also incomplete: “buying many skin products or paying for procedure which help…” lacks a clear main clause. Review sentence boundaries and ensure each sentence has a complete, correctly formed main clause. More consistent control of these structures would make your ideas easier to follow.

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