Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In Recent years , cosmetics treatments emerged as a prominent trend in modern society. From my prespective, this is predominantly a negative thhing as its overall impact on individual is sometime largely harmful.

The primary reason of considering this thing bad is that sometimes due to these surgeries people are getting lethal complications on their body . This is particularly because of these expensive treatments includes harmful chemicals which can dissolves in blood and can generate carcinogenic elements. For Example, Indian celeberity Katrina get it done her brest implement treatment due to that She has suffered from brest cancer. Which Demonstrates that these fake beauty standard can be life - threatening.

Another factor that reinforce my position is these expensive beauty products and treatment with promises to reverse your age is possible for rich people only . Moreover, just to maintain their long lasting beauty they are paying millions of dollars every month. for instance , Kim kardasian and kylie are youth icons in many countries. People get influenced by their beauty which is even not real . They are running successful buisness that is why they can maintain these expensive treaments . While, middle class girls can not afford all these things.

In conclude, I consider that in order to look younger than your age to be predominantly a worse trend . The substantial effects on people health and these fake beauty standards supports my view that its overall a bad things. However, in some situations and in excetional cases like accidents , burn , face disorientation such types of treatments are life - saving.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend predominantly negative, and the conclusion restates this view while acknowledging that treatments can be valuable after accidents or burns. You give two relevant reasons—health risks and unequal access—and support them with examples. However, the health argument relies on a broad claim about chemicals and an unverified celebrity example, so the link between cosmetic treatments and cancer is not convincingly explained. The affordability point is relevant, but the discussion of wealthy celebrities could be developed more directly to show how these products affect ordinary people. This covers the task and includes some support, but the ideas are not equally well developed; clearer explanation and more reliable examples would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from health concerns to affordability is logical, and signposts such as “The primary reason,” “Another factor,” and “In conclude” help identify the stages of the argument. Some connections, however, feel mechanical or unclear. For example, “Moreover” introduces a related point, but the link between expensive treatments and the claim that celebrities influence people could be made more explicit. The celebrity example also shifts between two people without clearly explaining their relevance to the preceding claim. Use referencing more precisely and connect each example to the point it supports; this would make the overall progression smoother and less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “lethal complications,” “carcinogenic elements,” “beauty standards,” and “life-saving,” which helps communicate the main ideas. There are also attempts at less common expressions, but inaccurate spelling and word choice are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “prespective,” “thhing,” “brest implement,” and “disorientation” are examples. Some combinations are unnatural, such as “reverse your age” and “maintain their long lasting beauty”; more precise phrasing would improve clarity. The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss the topic, but control of spelling, word forms, and collocation is inconsistent. Prioritise accurate, natural expressions over technical-sounding terms, and check spelling carefully before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer structures, including “This is particularly because…” and the sentence beginning “Moreover, just to maintain…”. However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries recur. For example, “these expensive treatments includes” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “which can dissolves” combines a modal with an incorrect verb form. The sentence about the celebrity is also difficult to follow because its clauses are not joined clearly. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, as in “for instance” after a full stop and the comma before “While.” Practise building accurate clauses first, then combine them using clear conjunctions and check agreement and punctuation.

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