Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is irrefutable that nowadays people wants to look more younger than their actual age however, for this reason they are purchasing new cosmetics to look good and get expensive treatment on their face and body.Although there are some benefits of doing facial and body treatments,I believe that drawbacks are far more.

There are many negative impacts of doing these expensive treatments on the face and body to look more younger than their actual age.The prominent effect is as these treatments and cosmetics are very costly and some people cannot afford these.Hence,they try to work more hard day and night to get enough money.Therefore, they sometimes not able to maintain the work life balance.Even they don't give enough time to their hobbies and families.Secondly,some facial treatments are not good for our health like plastic surgeries,laser treatments etcetera.These involves harmful rays that are not good for the human health and their impacts can be seen in later life.For example, In india one of the famous actress Sri Devi died because many plastic surgeries on her face which resulted in the heart attack.

Admittedly,some branded and expensive cosmetic and products are sometimes not good for our face as well as for body skin.Because these involves many chemicals which sometimes damage our skin like rashes,pimples , dry skin etcetera.Hence, without having advice from the dermatologist people not use these.

However, there are some positive impacts of using expensive products and having costly facial and body treatments.The first and foremost benefit is that some people get value and compliments from the society.They look better than their past.For example, some people get body shamed beacuse of their dark skin,small lips etcetera and after getting treatment they are able to get that amount of respect that they never gained without these treatments.Secondly,People can choose the cosmetics with the the help of dermatologists according to their skin tone and any allergies and they help to get your skin nourished and tight that helps people to look young.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that using expensive cosmetics and costly treatments have both positive and negative impacts.However, i believe that these can be used with the advice of dermatologists.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge benefits but conclude that these products and treatments should be used with professional advice. You address both sides and give relevant examples, including the costs and possible health risks of procedures, as well as social confidence and skin care. However, some points are not fully explained. For instance, the claim that working longer to afford treatments harms work–life balance could be linked more clearly to why this makes the trend a bad thing. The example about the actress is also presented as a definite cause of death without support, which weakens the argument. Develop fewer points with clearer explanation and use cautious, reliable examples to make your response more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs discussing disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally understandable, and signposts such as “Secondly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. At times, though, cohesion feels mechanical because several points are introduced with similar transitions rather than connected through explanation. The paragraph beginning “Admittedly” focuses on cosmetic products, but its relationship to the preceding discussion of treatments is not made explicit. Some references are also unclear, as in “these involves” and “they help,” where the reader must infer what “these” or “they” refers to. Use clearer topic sentences and link each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cosmetics,” “plastic surgeries,” “laser treatments,” “dermatologists,” and “work life balance.” These choices make the subject clear, and phrases such as “prominent effect” show an attempt to use more formal language. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “look more younger,” “get value and compliments,” and “nourished and tight” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling and form errors, including “beacuse” and “Sri Devi.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling; for example, describe people as gaining “social acceptance” rather than “getting value” from society.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because,” and “that,” so the response shows some structural variety. Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries remain. Examples include “people wants,” “these involves,” and “they sometimes not able,” which need corrected subject–verb agreement or auxiliary verbs. The opening sentence also runs several ideas together, while punctuation spacing and capitalisation are inconsistent. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, and divide long sentences where necessary. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied structures easier to read.

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