Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there has been an incresing posibility for people to purchase several products and also pay expensive beauty treatments that help them to look young. Although there are many benefits of looking younger, overall, on balance, I believe this trend is a nagative development because this can increase in pressure on many youngster and also lead to mental health problems.

One of the major reasons is that social media, this is becuase many youngster constently comapre themselves with influencer, and they want to copy everything from them, but they are far away from the reality as celebrities often use filters to look younger. For example, by getting influenced from famous celebraties, many teenagers went for the cosmentic surgeries to look young and to become like the celebrities they admired. As a result, they may suffer from the side effects of using chemical products on their skin.

Another reason is that insecurity towards looks, this is the fact that while some youngster do not feel comfortable in their own skin, others become insecure because of the peer pressure. This can push them to opt for beauty treatments and products eventhough they cannot afford them. For instance, many college going girls face insecurity by the nagative comments of peer's on their physical apperance. As a result, although they feel more confident about their look to fit into the group, many teenagers may face finacial pressure and mental health probelms such as anxiety and depression. Therfore, I believe this is a negative development.

In conclusion, although this trend helps many teenagers to feel confident and provide them an opportunity to fit in their peers group,I believe with incresing financial burden and affect metal well-being of many younter

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider the trend negative, mainly because it can increase social pressure and harm mental well-being. Both body paragraphs give relevant reasons, and examples such as teenagers copying celebrities and college students facing peer comments help connect the discussion to the topic. However, some points are asserted more than explained. For instance, the first paragraph mentions cosmetic surgery and possible side effects, but does not fully show how these outcomes follow from the wider availability of products and treatments. The conclusion also begins to summarise your view but ends without completing the final idea. Develop the cause-and-effect links more fully and finish with a complete, decisive summary of your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from social-media influence to insecurity and financial or mental-health consequences is generally easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “For example,” “As a result,” and “In conclusion” to signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical or unclear. For example, “One of the major reasons is that social media, this is because…” joins ideas awkwardly, while “Another reason is that insecurity towards looks, this is the fact that…” repeats the same pattern. The final sentence is incomplete, weakening the ending. Use clearer topic sentences and vary transitions while ensuring each sentence connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “peer pressure,” “cosmetic surgeries,” “side effects,” “financial pressure,” and “anxiety and depression.” These choices help communicate the main concerns and show attempts to use topic-specific language. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural phrasing are noticeable, including “incresing,” “nagative,” “youngster,” and “fit into their peers group.” Some expressions also do not convey the intended meaning precisely, such as “insecurity towards looks.” These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main argument, but they reduce accuracy and naturalness. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations, for example “feel insecure about their appearance” and “fit in with their peer group.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including concessive clauses with “Although” and result clauses beginning “As a result.” This gives the response some variety, and the main argument is usually understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in sentence construction, agreement, and sentence completion. For example, “One of the major reasons is that social media, this is because…” creates a faulty connection between clauses, and “many youngster … compare” has a number-agreement problem. The conclusion’s final sentence is also incomplete, and the opening sentence of the second body paragraph has a similar clause-joining issue. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check subject–verb agreement and punctuation when combining ideas.

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