Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, people are afraid of looking older, therefore they are spending alot of money to buy number of products or for skin treatment to look younger than their actual age. I believe such practices are bad because some skin treatments are exorbitant and some products causes various skin problems.

First and foremost, people are highly influenced by social media and by watching several advertisements they order or purchase skin care products without even knowing their skin type or without looking the ingrediants of that product. For instance, nowadays alot of social media influencers giving advertisement of the product which is very expensive and the advertisement is of a "Collagen Bob" skin product which has a LED lid that will help to reduces the wrinkles. However, it is least possible to reduce the wrinkle by using that small LED light lid, and people are buying that product without searching and without thinking, which may cause serious problem to skin.

Secondly, in this modern world, people mostly prefer to apply different products for skin glow instead of choosing a clean diet. Therefore, they are spending alot of money on the skin care products and they are applying number of layers onto their skin due to which all the pores of their skin closed properly and they skin become unable to breathe naturally which may causes skin irritation and their skin becomes pigmented.

Furthermore, due to the fear of look older most people taking different kinds of treatment suck as cheek fillers, lip fillers and various LED treatments that make their skin look younger only for some time. However, such kind of treatments can cause health issuses such as cancer.

In Conclusion, applying numerous skin products on skin and treatment can make people look younger only for sometime, however their aftermaths are very dangerous as the chemicals in the products or treatment can cause serious illness which might be unable to treat.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider these practices harmful, and the conclusion reinforces that view. You address both products and treatments, giving relevant reasons such as high costs, possible skin problems, and risks associated with cosmetic procedures. The social-media example adds useful specificity. This meets the task well, but the support is uneven: the discussion of buying products is more developed than the point about treatments, where the claim that fillers or LED treatments can cause cancer is asserted without explanation or evidence. Some effects, such as blocked pores and pigmentation, would also benefit from clearer explanation. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with a credible example and avoid broad medical claims unless you can support them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraphs generally follow a sensible progression, and signposts such as “First and foremost,” “Secondly,” and “Furthermore” make the sequence easy to follow. This is a coherent arrangement, though some linking is mechanical and ideas within paragraphs can run together. For example, the first body paragraph moves from social-media influence to a specific product and then to possible skin damage without clearly separating the example from the explanation. In the second paragraph, “Therefore” signals a result, but the connection between diet, product use, and skin irritation needs more precise development. Use referencing and transitions more selectively, and make the relationship between each claim and its supporting example explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including terms such as “skin irritation,” “pigmented,” “wrinkles,” and “health issues,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more specific vocabulary, such as “cheek fillers” and “ingredients.” However, several spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural expressions limit the accuracy of the vocabulary: “alot,” “ingred iants” (intended as “ingredients”), “suck as,” and “aftermaths” are examples. Phrases such as “skin glow” and “LED light lid” are also unclear or awkward in context. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; more precise wording will make your examples and claims sound more credible without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “however,” and the main ideas remain understandable. Some sentence patterns are controlled, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries recur. For example, “some products causes” should use a plural verb, while “influencers giving advertisement” needs a finite verb and a more suitable grammatical construction. In “which may causes,” the modal should be followed by the base form, and “people mostly prefer to apply” is followed by a sentence whose subject and verb agreement is unclear. The opening sentence also joins two independent ideas with a comma. Review these patterns and proofread each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and appropriate punctuation.

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