Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's technological era, there are plenty of skin treatments available to look brighter and younger. Many people purchase skin products, and they also pay for skin treatments to look young. I personally believe that it is a bad thing for them in the future. Here I am discussing that it is good or bad things for people.

The first and the formost reason of good thing that, many people are using a product like face wash, face scrub, moisturiser, vitamin-c toner, sunscreen and many more. In addition to this, many people are using laser and radio treatment for glow and look brighter than they are. For example, many actor, actresses, businessmen and celebrity star are using this kind of laser treatment for their roles in film.

However, it is a bad things for them in the future because it harms them skin cell. Also, the process fees are very expensive so it is not suitable for normal people while, normal people buy a skin product which is also available at higher cost, so it hurts them as a financial. Moreover, laser treatment are affecting them in future with problems like looseness in skin, a white dot and cancer. For instance, 74% of people are dignosed with skin cancer who used laser treatment in recent studies of news paper.

In conclusion, many people think that treatments and products are good for skin to look brighter and younger and they use too many products and laser and radio treatments for skin. I think that it is not good for future and why we are not happy that god gives us. It is only bad thing for longer time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall opinion that these products and treatments are harmful, especially in the future, and you include relevant points about cost and possible health effects. However, the response only partly develops the question. The first body paragraph is introduced as a reason they are good, but it mainly lists products and says celebrities use treatments; it does not explain why this is beneficial. Your negative position is clearer, but claims such as laser treatment causing cancer and the statistic about 74% of users are presented without support, which weakens the argument. To strengthen the response, explain both the benefits and drawbacks more carefully, use credible or qualified examples, and make the comparison behind your final judgement explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, so the reader can identify its broad structure. You also use basic signposts such as “However,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion.” Nevertheless, progression within and between paragraphs is uneven. The opening says you will discuss whether the issue is good or bad, while the first body paragraph lists examples without explaining their relevance; the shift from this paragraph to the negative argument is therefore abrupt. Several ideas are joined mechanically with “Also” and “Moreover,” and the conclusion repeats earlier points rather than drawing them together. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, explain it, and use clearer links between the example and the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “skin treatments,” “moisturiser,” “laser,” “financial” and “skin cancer,” and the reader can generally understand your intended meaning. However, the range is limited and some wording is repetitive, particularly repeated references to looking “brighter and younger” and to “skin products.” There are also noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems, such as “the first and the formost reason,” “it hurts them as a financial,” and “dignosed.” These sometimes make the meaning less clear or sound unnatural. Build a more precise set of expressions for benefits, risks and costs, and check spelling and word forms. For example, describe a treatment as “expensive” or “financially burdensome,” rather than saying it hurts someone “as a financial.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with linking clauses, and the overall message is usually understandable. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently in agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction. Examples include “many actor, actresses,” “it harms them skin cell,” “laser treatment are affecting,” and “it is a bad things.” The sentence “I personally believe that it is a bad thing for them in the future” is also unclear in its reference to “it.” Some longer sentences are difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear grammatical control. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and noun forms, and use shorter, complete sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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