Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In this contemporary era, numerous products and treatments have been introduced which help people to look younger. Many individulas pay money to purchase products and other treatments in order to keep themselves young. Although taking care of themselves to look young is good thing, using expensive skincares or treatments is not beneficial for this.
This essay will explain reasons behind it.
One of the main disadvantages of using anti-ageing products is that they can give some reactions to skin. As most of produts and treatments use different chemicals in order to keep skin firm and free of wrinkles, these can damage skin barriers if does not suits type of skin. For example, taking gluthionine injection to keep skin bright and glowing sometimes damages skin barriers and results in giving pigmentation on face. Another negative impact of this trend is that it can put financial pressure on individulas. There are number of products in market which are very expensive and sometimes using only one out of them does not give results, so spending money on different products or treatment several times contributes in creating financial burden. Hence, instead of spending money on treatment and products to maintain youthful appearence, people should prefer eating healthy diet and avoid junk food. Additionally, they should follow some exercises everyday to keep their body healthy.
On the other hand, there are few advantages of using anti-aging products and treatment. Firstly, individulas feel more confident and secure in community by staying good looking. For example, person with dry and wrinkled skin feel uncomfortable and insecure to face others while they grow older, they take these measures to reduce visible signs of aging. Secondly, it is essential for some folks especially actors to keep their natural apperance consistent for long term and for this reason they take help of specific products and treatments in order to maintain their profession. For example, celebrities takes injection of glutathionine to make their sking more glowing and bright.
In conclusion, without a doubt it is necessary to maintain healthy looking skin to keep up the confidence and profession for number of individulas, it is not important to spend money of treatments and products. Thus, it can be acheived by mantaining healthy diet and by excercising daily.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: looking after one’s health is worthwhile, but spending heavily on anti-ageing products and treatments is not necessary. The risks of skin reactions and financial pressure are relevant reasons, and the confidence and career points provide a counterbalance. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The discussion of possible skin damage includes an example, while the claim that actors need to maintain a consistent appearance is asserted rather than explored. Your conclusion also shifts towards healthy habits without fully weighing whether the benefits of treatments can outweigh their costs or risks. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a specific, relevant example to make the argument more complete.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on disadvantages, a paragraph on advantages, and a conclusion. This makes the line of argument easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers recognise shifts. The progression is generally logical, but some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “For example” and “Firstly/Secondly.” The sentence beginning “Hence” moves from financial pressure to healthy eating rather abruptly, and the final paragraph repeats the preference for diet and exercise rather than synthesising both sides. Use more precise links between claims and explanations, and make references such as “these” in the skin-reaction discussion clearer. This would make cohesion more flexible and less formulaic.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “anti-ageing products,” “skin barriers,” “financial pressure,” “visible signs of aging,” and “maintain their profession.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common terms are attempted. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “individulas,” “produts,” “apperance,” and “sking.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “keep themselves young,” “results in giving pigmentation,” and “spending money of treatments” do not sound idiomatic. Check spelling carefully and learn common collocations for discussing health, appearance, and costs. More precise phrasing would make your argument sound more fluent and controlled.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in the introduction and clauses beginning “As” and “while.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur in both sentence structure and agreement. For example, “if does not suits type of skin” needs a subject and a correctly formed verb, while “person with dry and wrinkled skin feel” has a singular subject with a plural verb. Articles and plurals also need attention in phrases such as “is good thing” and “there are number of products.” The sentence about celebrities combines a plural subject with “takes.” Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and conditional clauses, then proofread each sentence for these patterns. Greater accuracy across your varied structures would strengthen the response.
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