Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this current scenario, everyone dream to look younger. In order to fulfil their dream, individuals spent lots of money on expensive products and treatment. These products and treatment has detrimental effects on human body such as rashes and acne.

To commence with, there are lots negative effects of using expensive beauty products and treatment on skin. People might face serious health issues due to the chemicals used in these products and treatments. Sometime people have to face rashes and acne due to chemicals used in these products. For an instance, a famous Hollywood actor took plastic surgery many time, due to which he have to face serious issues such as skin cancer. It clearly states that the products and the treatment for beauty enhancement has detrimental effects on human body.

Additionally, these cosmetic products and treatments are so expensive, people have to pay a huge amount. This put an extra burden on an individual pocket and some people took loans to bear the cost of these treatments. Furthermore, in this current world everyone is on social media. People always follow there ideals and they want to look like them. So, they tend to follow their cosmetic routine. Famous personalities can afford these products and treatment, but it is not possible for common people to purchase that service. Due to this, they have to face financial issues. For an instance, hair transplant is an expensive treatment, famous celebrities took that treatment to look charming in there movies, but it might be expensive for an common people.

In conclusion, their might be a negative impact on people skin after taking the skin aging products and treatments. So people should consult to doctor before taking any product and always check their budget before taking any treatment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear answer that this trend is harmful, and you support it with two relevant reasons: possible health effects and financial pressure. The discussion of social-media influence also helps explain why people may feel driven to buy these products. However, the health argument is more developed than the financial one, and the example about a Hollywood actor is vague and makes a strong claim about skin cancer without showing how it is connected to the treatment. The conclusion offers sensible advice, but it does not fully restate your overall judgement about whether the trend is good or bad. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation and use specific, credible examples to make your position more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “To commence with,” “Additionally,” and “In conclusion” make the main stages easy to follow. Within the paragraphs, however, some connections feel mechanical, and ideas occasionally repeat—for example, the claim that products and treatments have detrimental effects appears in both the introduction and the first body paragraph. References such as “that service” and “their ideals” are not fully clear, and the second body paragraph moves from cost to social-media influence without a smooth explanation of the relationship. Group related points more tightly and use clearer references and transitions to show how each idea supports your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main points, including “plastic surgery,” “chemicals,” “financial issues,” and “hair transplant.” There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “detrimental effects” and “extra burden.” However, several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, particularly repeated references to “products and treatment” and “look younger.” Some word choices and collocations are unnatural, including “everyone dream,” “an individual pocket,” and “follow there ideals”; spelling errors such as “there” for “their” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise phrases and vary your vocabulary—for example, distinguish between cosmetic products, anti-ageing treatments, and procedures, rather than repeating the same general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure in “People might face serious health issues due to the chemicals used in these products and treatments.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “everyone dream” should be “everyone dreams,” “These products and treatment has” needs a plural subject and matching verb, and “a famous Hollywood actor … he have to face” contains tense and agreement problems. The sentence joining the cost of products to the need to pay a large amount is also a comma splice. Review subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries, then proofread articles and verb forms.

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