Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As the world of fashion is evolving at the rate of knots, people are buying more outfits just to stay relevant. They find a certain sense of accomplishment once they possess what has been advertised for them. In this essay we will discuss why people behave in this way and how to avoid this problem.

First of all, consumerism is at all time high these days. People are buying more clothes than they actually need. They buy more, store these clothes but they rarely get the chance to wear certain outfits. This trend is omnipresent in western world as most of the fashion houses design their clothing keeping the target market there.

Secondly, the lifecycle of a fashion has been decreased significantly. For example, a scarf launched in November becomes trending immediately. Everyone starts buying it and wearing it. But the very next month, the fashion world introduces something else, like a hat made of fur. Now, everyone will follow that trend. And the cycle continues. But the scarf, the hat and other items become irrelevant and people forget to use them.

Lastly, we examine the negative impacts of this habit of following fashion trends. Most importantly, the environment. The more we produce indutrially, the more fossil fuel we burn. Hence, when we keep buying more, we contribute to environmetal degradation. We need to act now to reverse this effect. This habit can also be considered an addiction as we willingly spend our hard earned money over luxuries while compromising on our basic needs.

In the end, people need to prioritize their needs over desires. Yes, every now and then they can enjoy a certain piece of clothing that they actually like. But their liking shouldn't be based on a model walking on a ramp.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions by identifying reasons for excessive clothing purchases, especially consumerism and rapidly changing trends, and you offer a concluding suggestion to prioritise needs over desires. However, the response gives much more attention to explaining the problem than to explaining how people can be persuaded to buy less. The environmental effects and the idea that shopping can become addictive describe consequences, rather than setting out clear persuasion measures. The final advice is relevant but brief, and the opening promise to discuss how to avoid the problem is not fully fulfilled. Develop practical approaches—for example, public campaigns about clothing waste, limits on impulse buying, or promoting durable garments—and explain how these could influence behaviour.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs on consumerism and changing trends, a paragraph on impacts, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” make the progression easy to follow. However, the paragraph beginning “Lastly” shifts from reasons to negative impacts without clearly connecting those impacts to the question’s request for ways to persuade people. The conclusion then introduces advice that has not been developed in the body. Some linking is also mechanical, and “In the end” signals a conclusion without summarising the main points. Make the structure more purposeful by giving a distinct paragraph to persuasion strategies and linking each recommendation to a reason people overbuy.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range and show some flexibility with expressions such as “consumerism,” “lifecycle,” “trending,” “environmental degradation,” and “prioritize their needs over desires.” These choices help communicate the topic clearly, and the examples of a scarf and a fur hat make the discussion concrete. There are, however, several inaccurate or awkward choices that keep the vocabulary from being consistently precise: “the lifecycle of a fashion” is not a natural collocation, “keeping the target market there” is unclear, and “spend ... money over luxuries” is awkward. Spelling slips such as “indutrially” and “environmetal” are also noticeable. Aim for more natural collocations and proofread spelling; for instance, refer to “the lifespan of a trend” and “spending money on non-essential items.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including subordinate clauses in “once they possess what has been advertised for them” and the contrast in “while compromising on our basic needs.” Most sentences are understandable, and punctuation generally supports the meaning. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, including “consumerism is at all time high,” which needs an article, and “in western world,” which also needs an article and more precise grammatical framing. The sentence “The more we produce indutrially, the more fossil fuel we burn” would be clearer with a plural or an appropriate determiner for “fossil fuel.” There is also a shift from general present-tense discussion to “Now, everyone will follow that trend.” Continue checking articles, number, and tense consistency, while varying sentence structures accurately.

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