Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Clothing are essential in our daily lives. In most countries, people purchase too many wears. This essay will discus the reasons why people buy many clothes and ways to persuade people into reducing the number of clothes they buy.

The primary reason why people shop for too many clothes is because of the affordability of wears. Some of these stores sell clothing at cheaper price however it is pocket friendly for the buyers. Some buyer go as much as shopping more than their budget which causes lack of saving for other important bills.For example, a recent research shows that many people buy different outfits at the end of each months usually the salary has been paid. Another reason is because most individuals need different outfits for several occasion, they always want to update their fashion. Many of them purchase them out of peer pressure.

One of the ways of persuading the masses into minimizing how often they order for wears, Firstly, by encouraging and teaching them on the benefits of saving money after each payment rather than investing in fashion. Parents should teach their children how to save and invest in other businesses that could fetch more money in the future. Secondly, the shop owners should put restrictions on the number of wears each customer could order, although they benefit from the public who buys several dresses too.

In conclusion, shopping for wears when in-demand is beneficial however buying more than needed is waste of resources and it should be controlled the individuals

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for excessive clothing consumption and methods to persuade people to reduce it. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'affordability' is mentioned, but the explanation lacks depth, relying on general statements rather than specific examples. The suggestion regarding shop owners putting restrictions on purchases is a creative idea, but it is not fully explored in terms of its feasibility or impact. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples to support your arguments, ensuring that each point is fully developed rather than just introduced.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each prompt requirement, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The primary reason', 'Another reason', and 'Firstly', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the start of the third paragraph: 'One of the ways of persuading the masses into minimizing how often they order for wears, Firstly, by...'. This sentence is grammatically incomplete and disrupts the flow. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking phrases would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You have an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, but there are recurring issues with word choice and collocation. For example, using 'wears' as a noun to mean 'clothes' is incorrect; 'clothing' or 'garments' would be more appropriate. Phrases like 'pocket friendly' are informal and better suited to casual conversation than an IELTS essay. Additionally, there are minor errors such as 'at the end of each months' (should be 'month'). To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that your word choices are appropriate for a formal context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is a consistent issue, such as 'Clothing are essential' (should be 'is') and 'Some buyer go' (should be 'buyers go'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices and missing full stops, such as in the second paragraph: '...cheaper price however it is pocket friendly...'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary punctuation will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.