Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary society people now have become too modern that they are buying bundle of clothes everytime. There are many reasons behind this happening and there are some ways too that could help individuals to buy less numbers of clothes. I will explain this in the ensuing paragraphs.

Many causes are associated with this situation that why people are getting too many clothes. First of all, they might be interesting in modeling or they are celebrities. To become public figure and for fame, they have to attract attention of media and public. That is why, they always buy new clothes and dressed up stylist. Furthermore, they feels repeating clothes will make their impression low. For instace, India's famous bussiness man Mukesh Ambani's wife Neeta Ambani never repeat her clothes in her life and this is how they are embracing their wealthy life.

However, there are some ways can be addressed to public figure or other individuals to reduce the number of shopping of clothes. To commence with, encourage them that it is detrimental for environment. When people have more clothes they are not wearing their old once. To get rid of those clothes, our landfills needs time to absorb those sythetic material of the clothes which is initially bad for environment. Another reason is, by this unwanted cloth shopping it creating direct effect on their budget and financially people have to passing from certain crisis.

To conclude, there are many reasons of people to buy more clothes is that, people may be are model or celebrites and wanted keep their wealthy status. To convince them, encourage them to awareness towards environment and also affecting their financial life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for excessive clothing consumption and suggesting ways to reduce it. However, the development is somewhat limited. The focus on celebrities like Neeta Ambani as the primary reason for overconsumption is a narrow perspective that does not fully reflect the global trend of 'fast fashion' or consumerist culture. While the ideas are relevant, they lack depth and breadth. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, merely restating the points rather than synthesizing them. To improve, you should broaden your scope to include factors like social media influence, affordability, and marketing strategies, and provide more detailed explanations for your proposed solutions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First of all', 'Furthermore', and 'To commence with'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'To commence with' to introduce a solution. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Another reason is, by this unwanted cloth shopping it creating direct effect...'. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the flow of your ideas significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'buying bundle of clothes', 'dressed up stylist', and 'passing from certain crisis'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle with collocations. To reach a higher band, you need to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'consumerism', 'environmental impact', 'sustainable fashion', or 'financial burden', and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('they feels', 'landfills needs'), incorrect verb forms ('they have to passing'), and awkward sentence construction ('people now have become too modern that they are buying'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure often feels repetitive or disjointed. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and refining your use of complex sentence structures to ensure they are grammatically accurate.

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