Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days, people love to do shopping in their leisure time which helps them to enjoy the outing and spending time with family. I will give the reasons for this and advise to reduce the shopping for clothes.

To begin , individuals like to buy clothes because it is a free time activity for them . They are busy in their work usually on weekdays and it's time to spend with families which engage them . In some families kids love shopping so parents go with their children to buy clothes and do some outside activities like dinner. Secondly, women are usually busy in their house and they have only this activity to enjoy with their friends which helps to give them a break from work and helps to reduce the stress of work or house they are enjoying together.lastly, some people have a habit to wear new clothes on every occasion to show rich so, that's why they buying clothes. Trends of online shopping are going on top nowadays which encourages them to buy new trending clothes according to the fashion.

People can reduce the habit of buying clothes by using their old clothes which helps them to save their money,they can spend on any other crucial task . Individuals need to buy clothes but according to the budget they have to do outings with their family but not only with shopping by going to any historical park or temple.For example, I read an article In 2002, Meena was found of shopping and she was spending her income only on clothes for fashion but after a year when she knows the value of money and read article on wastage then she stop buying unusual clothes and she set up her own factory of old clothes.

To conclude, people need to buy clothes according to their needs but they have so many other ways to spend money to avoid this habit which I explain before.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for excessive clothing purchases and methods to reduce them. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the explanation regarding women shopping as a break from housework is a generalization that lacks depth. The example provided about 'Meena' is anecdotal and slightly confusing in its delivery, which limits the overall persuasiveness of the argument. While all parts are addressed, the ideas could be extended further with more sophisticated reasoning or broader societal context to reach a higher band. The position is clear, but the supporting evidence is somewhat simplistic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'lastly, some people have a habit...' and the repetitive use of 'which helps them to'. There are instances where the logical flow between sentences is disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the transition from shopping habits to alternative activities is abrupt. Paragraphing is present, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs needs more variety and smoother linking phrases to achieve a more natural flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but remains quite basic and repetitive. Phrases like 'do shopping', 'buy clothes', and 'spend money' are used frequently. There is an attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'trending clothes' and 'wastage', but the range is limited. The expression 'to show rich' is grammatically incorrect and reflects a lack of precision. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more varied collocations and precise terminology related to consumerism and sustainability, rather than relying on simple, high-frequency verbs and nouns.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they buying clothes'), article usage, and sentence construction (e.g., 'when she knows the value of money... then she stop buying'). Punctuation is also problematic, with inconsistent spacing around commas and periods. While the meaning is generally clear despite these errors, the frequency of grammatical slips prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence boundary control and consistent verb tense usage would significantly improve the clarity and quality of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.