Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.
What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Spending immersive money on fashion to buy things like belts, jeans, shirts and other accessories is a new trend in few parts of the world. There are several reason behind this happening such as increased spending capacity, fast-paced fashion trend and pressure to keep up with society. Education and awareness can be two main solutions for this behaviors of people.
To begin with, nowadays people are earning handsome amount of money by working in multinational company. As economy of some developing countries increasing on regular basis, more jobs and demands are increasing helping people to work multiple job and earning more money. As a result, people are spending more money to buy clothes and may buy things which are unnecessary. For example, a person might end up buying 4 jeans instead of 2 because he has extra money to spend.
Furthermore, In some countries, Individuals are more attracts towards new fashion trends, which is constantly changing. Due to this, people wish to acquire all new trending clothes and fashionable items and eventually end up buying more. For instance, manufacturer of fashionable products keep introducing new fashion or style which may influence many people to buy unwanted products. Consequently, it leads to spending money on latest trends. Last but not least, Immerse pressure on todays youth for keeping up their social status in society can be a reason for this cause.
There are some solutions to prevent people for buying more clothes. Firstly, Government should arrange campaign and also educate people about consequences of investing more on fashionable items. Because of this, people will invest in more valuable products or save money for their future stability.
To conclude, Individuals are buying many clothes in some parts of the world due to increased spending capacity and new fashion trends. However, it can preventable by spending awareness through marketing and education.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for overconsumption and potential solutions. The ideas are relevant, such as increased disposable income and social pressure. However, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the suggestion to use 'marketing and education' is mentioned but lacks specific detail on how these would be implemented or why they would be effective. The introduction is a bit repetitive, and the conclusion is brief. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples and provide more depth in your analysis of the solutions, ensuring that each point is fully explored rather than just stated.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'Consequently' to link ideas. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'Last but not least, Immerse pressure'. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the transition between the reasons and the solutions could be more sophisticated to improve the overall progression of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You have an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss the topic, using terms like 'multinational company', 'disposable income' (implied), and 'social status'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations. For example, 'spending immersive money' is incorrect; 'excessive' or 'lavish' would be better. 'Individuals are more attracts' should be 'are more attracted'. The term 'Immerse pressure' is a misuse of the word 'immense'. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, these errors indicate a need for more precise control over word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain grammatical errors. For example, 'As economy of some developing countries increasing' is missing a verb ('is increasing'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'manufacturer... keep introducing' (should be 'manufacturers... keep' or 'manufacturer... keeps'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors throughout. To improve, focus on ensuring that your complex sentences are grammatically sound and pay closer attention to articles and verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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