Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, people's lifestyle have changed lot. Therefore, in a few regions of the globe, individuals purchase numerous of clothes. The reasons related to this situation change habits will be articulated in the upcoming paragraphs with solutions.

To commence with, There are so many reasons that why people buy too much clothes. To explain it, people are educated nowadays they have access to digital gadgets such as phones, laptops, and computers on which they see variety of advertisements. Due to this, they get attracted toward the newly launched products. Moreover, people become more fashionable they like to keep them up-to-date that's the another reason for buying clothes. Apart from this, people arrange meeting, events, parties on which they like to wear new clothes to show them fashionable or modern. Also, clothes are very cheap in today's time and poor quality due to that people have to buy clothes after two or three washes. For example, a survey done by ABP news claimed that 70% people purchase new clothes for different events. As a result, these are the major reasons for this change.

However, If the manufacturers make good quality clothes people do not need to buy again and again. Secondly, people should minimise the use of social media so they cannot be influenced by those fashion icons celebrities. The habit of wearing same clothes could be adapted by people while attending events.

To conclude, although there are numerous cause for this situation, if people can avoid social media platforms and repeat wearing same clothes on events this problem can be solved.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: reasons for excessive clothing consumption and solutions to mitigate it. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention digital advertisements and the desire to appear fashionable, these points could be expanded with more depth. The solutions provided, such as minimizing social media use, are relevant but lack detailed explanation on how they would be implemented effectively. The inclusion of a specific example (the ABP news survey) is a positive step toward supporting your arguments, but overall, the response would benefit from more thorough elaboration to reach a higher band level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly repetitive (e.g., 'To commence with', 'Apart from this', 'Secondly'). Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, such as the jump from discussing social media to the quality of clothes. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow of the essay significantly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'digital gadgets', 'advertisements', and 'fashion icons'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'numerous of clothes' (should be 'numerous clothes' or 'a large number of clothes') and 'keep them up-to-date'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('people's lifestyle have changed') and missing articles ('the' before 'newly launched products'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and capitalization after periods. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your points, they occur frequently enough to impact the overall fluency and accuracy of the writing. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors will help improve your score.

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