Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some countries, people invest enormous amount of money on buying cloths, and there are several reasons that drive this trend such as social media influence, affordability and accessibility. This essay will provide some effective solutions to persuade people to buy less cloths.

The major reason behind this inclination of spending too much on cloths is the influence of social media. people continuously posting picture of luxury lifestyle, expensive possessions and cloths on social media platforms such as a Facebook, an Instagram and You-tube, Which leave an impression on others mind set that

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the required 250-word minimum, reaching only 93 words. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed, and the development of ideas is severely limited. While the introduction identifies the reasons for excessive clothing consumption, the essay stops abruptly mid-sentence in the first body paragraph. Because the response is incomplete, it fails to address the second part of the prompt regarding solutions. This results in a failure to provide a balanced or complete argument, which is a requirement for higher band scores. To improve, you must ensure you complete the full essay structure, including a clear conclusion, and meet the minimum word count to allow for sufficient development of your points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay shows some attempt at logical organization by introducing the topic and beginning a body paragraph. However, because the text is incomplete, it is impossible to assess the overall progression or the effective use of cohesive devices. The paragraphing is interrupted, and the flow of ideas is cut off before any meaningful structure can be established. To improve, focus on planning your essay into four distinct paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs covering the two parts of the prompt, and a conclusion. Use linking words like 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in addition' to connect your ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, such as 'enormous amount', 'social media influence', and 'luxury lifestyle'. However, there are some errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'cloths' instead of 'clothes' and the unnecessary use of articles before platform names like 'a Facebook' and 'an Instagram'. The range of vocabulary is limited due to the brevity of the text. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology related to consumerism and ensure you use articles correctly. Expanding your vocabulary will help you express your ideas with more sophistication and clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('people continuously posting' should be 'people are continuously posting') and incorrect capitalization ('people' at the start of a sentence). There are also issues with punctuation and sentence structure, such as the comma splice and the incomplete sentence at the end. The range of structures is limited, and the errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb. Practice proofreading your work to catch simple errors in capitalization and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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