Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

ON THE FEW PLACES OF THE GLOBAL, INDIVIDUALS BUY MANY KINDS OF TRENDY OR TRADITIONAL CLOTHES FROM LONG DISTANCE WITH THE AIM OF IT COULD BE BEST OF QUALITY.

I SUPPOSE IT COULD BE BETTER WAY FOR THEM. FURTHERMORE ON THE SOME SPECIFIC PLACE IS FAMOUS FOR CLOTHES ONLY. THEREFORE MANY PEOPLE GO THIER FOR BUYING THE CLOTHES. MOREOVER THIER PEOPLE CAN EASILY BUY WHO TYPES OF CLOTHES WHICH THEY CAN NOT BUY FROM OTHER PLACES OR NEAREST STORES. LET'S TAKE AN EXAMPLE, ALWAYS GEN-Z PEOPLE WANT TO LOOK ATTRACTIVE BY NEW TRENDINGS CLOTH WHICH IS COSTLY, FAMOUS FOR IT BRANDS. FOR BUYING TRENDIG CLOTHES THEY HAVE TO GO ON BIG MALL OR CLOTHE STORES. IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT HOW MANY LONG DISTANCE THEY HAVE TO GO. THEY DEFINATELY GO THIER AND VISIT THAT SHOP, THEREFORE MOST OF PEOPLE VISIT THAT STORE WHO IS FAR AWAY FROM THERE HOMETOWN.

MY PERSONAL OPINION IS THAT, ALL COUNTRYSIDE AREA HAVE ATLEAST ONE HUGE CLOTHES STORE IS NECCESITY FOR PEOPLE. PEOPLE HAVE TO FIGURE OUT THAT BEUITY LOOKS DOES NOT MATTER TO MAKE ATTRACTIVE, KNOWLEDGE AND BEHAVIOUR WOULD BE MAKE ATTRACTIVE THEMSELVES.

PEOPLE SHOULD MOST FOCUS ON THE ACHIEVEMENT. EVEN THOUGH BRAND CLOTHES IS CRUCIAL FOR LOOKING LUXARY BUT BUTIES IS NOT WORK IN TOUGH SITUATIONS. THEREFORE YOU SOULD BE GET MORE KNOWLEDGE AND SAVE MONEY FOR OUR OTHER LIFESTYLE ACTIVITIES.

I BELIEVE THAT TWO OR THREE-PAIR CLOTHES IS SUFFICIENT FOR PEOPLE SO YOU SHOULD SAFE THE MONEY RATHER THAN MORE SPEND. MOREOVER IF THEY HAVE UNDERSTAND THIS THING THAT PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE MORE SMART BY OWN MIND AND ALWAYS BE READY FOR LEARN NEW THINGS THEN PEOPLE CAN REDUCE THE NOMBER OF CLOTHES TO USE. ALWAYS REMEBER THAT A BOOK IS NEVER JUDGE BY COVER.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons why people buy many clothes, such as the search for quality, specific regional shopping hubs, and trendy brand appeal among Gen-Z, alongside suggestions for reducing consumption, such as changing mindset and prioritizing knowledge over appearance. However, the development of these ideas is limited and at times somewhat unclear due to expression issues. For instance, the discussion on Gen-Z shopping habits touches on relevant points, but the reasoning is repetitive and lacks fully extended support. The writer takes a clear personal position advocating for minimalism and financial prudence, which aligns with the requirements of a General Training Task 2. Overall, the performance corresponds to a Band 5.5, as it addresses all parts of the task but lacks sufficient depth and fully developed elaboration in several key areas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays some organizational structure with distinct paragraph breaks separating the introduction, body points, and conclusion, yet it lacks clear overall progression and logical flow. Cohesive devices are frequently basic, repetitive, or inaccurate, such as 'FURTHERMORE ON THE SOME SPECIFIC PLACE', 'MOREOVER THIER PEOPLE', and 'LET'S TAKE AN EXAMPLE'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in pronoun usage and spatial markers like 'there and visit that shop, therefore most of people visit that store who is far away from there hometown'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is often faulty or mechanical, leading to choppy transitions between ideas. These features are characteristic of Band 5, where information is arranged with some organizational attempt, but progression is hindered by inadequate or awkward cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and frequently strained, displaying noticeable errors that cause difficulty for the reader. There are persistent word choice and collocation errors, such as 'FEW PLACES OF THE GLOBAL', 'TRENDIG CLOTH', 'BIG MALL OR CLOTHE STORES', 'BEUITY LOOKS', and 'TWO OR THREE-PAIR CLOTHES'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'luxary' (luxury) and 'convenience', but these are marred by spelling mistakes and awkward phrasing. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic message about consumer habits and minimalism, the high frequency of lexical inaccuracies places it firmly in the Band 5 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple constructions joined by basic conjunctions. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, marred by significant grammatical and punctuation errors. Examples include 'WITH THE AIM OF IT COULD BE BEST OF QUALITY', 'IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT HOW MANY LONG DISTANCE THEY HAVE TO GO', 'BEUITY LOOKS DOES NOT MATTER TO MAKE ATTRACTIVE', and 'YOU SOULD BE GET MORE KNOWLEDGE'. Errors are frequent and often impede communication, forcing the reader to decode the intended meaning behind distorted structures like 'PEOPLE SHOULD MAKE MORE SMART BY OWN MIND'. This profile corresponds directly to the Band 4.5 or Band 5 descriptors, where frequent errors in grammar and complex structures cause notable difficulty for the reader.

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