Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that in some countries, buying clothes more than requirements is increasing massively. The main reason behind this trend is self satisfaction by improving their appearance and online shopping amenities. However, these can be resolve if individuals dress smartly with limited options of clothing and teach their children about the importance of money.

There are multiple reasons why people buy too many clothes to wear. The first and foremost is to enhance their personality among their friendly, relatives and opposite gender. Mainly girls are more inclined towards shopping clothes more frequently beacuse according to them repeating same clothes may impact their reputation in the society which lead to encourage them to purchase unlimited clothes. Easy access to online shooping is a another major reason for this phenomenon, customers can explore new deals and offers conveniently by sitting at home and place an order for home delivery. For example, there are many online shopping sites available such as Amazon, Mintra and Shein which enforce people when they have big discount on clothing items.

Buying too many clothes is ultyimately wasting money and this can be tackle by some crucial steps. Currently there are many Youtube vloggers who make video on how to enhance their apperance with limited number of clothes. Thus, people should watch these videos and get ideas which will definately peovide them unique tips which assist them to avoid unneccesary shopping. Not only this, some parents should treach their children about the importance of meoney and fix some time for their shopping.

In conclusion, buying clothes more than people's need is due to enhancing the physical appearance among others and online shopping facilities. Whereas, people can minimise their needs by repeating same clothes but with creativity and some people should strictly mange their children dressing requirements.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the reasons for excessive clothing purchases (such as enhancing appearance, social pressure, and online shopping accessibility) and offering solutions (such as styling with limited options and parental guidance). The position is clear throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks deep exploration, particularly in the conclusion and final paragraph where points feel slightly abrupt. For instance, mentioning YouTube vloggers is a relevant example, but its connection to persuading the broader population could be extended further. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled, corresponding to a Band 6.0 descriptor profile where all parts are addressed with relevant ideas, though some are slightly under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs covering reasons and solutions respectively, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as "The first and foremost," "Thus," and "In conclusion." However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, and referencing is not always completely clear. For example, the sentence "However, these can be resolve" has a referencing error where 'these' vaguely points back to multiple concepts. Additionally, paragraphing is utilised, but the progression within the third paragraph feels a bit disjointed due to sudden shifts between YouTube vloggers and parenting advice. This places the performance firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as "self satisfaction," "amenities," and "inclined towards." However, there are numerous lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including "beacuse," "shooping," "ultyimately," "apperance," "peovide," "unneccesary," "treach," "meoney," and "mange." These errors do not generally impede overall communication, as the reader can still grasp the intended meaning, but they restrict the lexical score. Collocations are sometimes awkward, such as "shopping clothes more frequently" instead of "shopping for clothes more frequently." This performance fits the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, leaning toward Band 5.5 due to the high density of spelling and word-choice slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("these can be resolve" instead of "resolved"), missing articles ("repeating same clothes"), and awkward phrasing ("lead to encourage them"). Punctuation and word forms also show frequent lapses. While the sentences are generally comprehensible and communication is rarely completely blocked, the frequency of errors prevents the response from reaching a Band 6.0, as the majority of sentences are not error-free. Therefore, a Band 5.5 is appropriate for this criterion.

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