Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no doubt that fashion has become a trend among the people in this day and age due to modern era. In some parts of the world , Individual prefer to buy too many clothes .There are various reasons why this trend is increasing day by day .Through this essay i will discussed reasons of this trend in the former paragraph.

To begin with ,there are various reasons behind this trend .The first and foremost reason is that show off .To explain it more ,

In this modern era , most of the people give priority to wear different kind of cloth as they want to look always new in the front of other people .In addition to this,celebrities is also another reason ,however when people see them on social media then they attract from the cloth . As a result ,people prefer to buy cloth ,especially youngsters .

There are various solution of this problem .Firstly ,learning the value of saving money is a good solution . Now days people spend a lot of money on unnecessary clothes rather than buying other things which are important for them .It is a responsibilities of individual to know the value of money .For example , In this era , youngones spend a lot of money on unnecessary clothes, however it is a parents responsibility that they should tell of their children how they use money .

To conclude , saving money creates a lot of benefits for everone's.Therefore , every people should buy cloth in the limit if they need owing to numerous .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons why people buy too many clothes, such as the desire to 'show off' and the influence of celebrities, and offering solutions like learning financial literacy and parental guidance. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, with over-generalised points. For instance, the discussion on celebrities states that people 'attract from the cloth' without fully exploring the underlying mechanisms of consumerism or advertising. While a clear position is established and all parts of the prompt are covered, the lack of fully extended and supported ideas places this response firmly in Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognisable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, satisfying basic organizational needs. Paragraphing is attempted, though the first paragraph is brief and the transition into body paragraphs is formulaic. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'In addition to this', and 'Firstly', but their application is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, as seen in phrases like 'Through this essay i will discussed reasons'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression between sentences sometimes falters due to grammatical interference. Overall, the structural framework is sufficient for a Band 5.5, rounded to a Band 6 based on overall readability.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic ideas about fashion, shopping, and saving money. However, the range is limited and repetitive, frequently relying on basic terms such as 'clothes', 'money', and 'reasons'. There are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices throughout the text, such as 'give priority to wear different kind of cloth' instead of 'kinds of clothes', and 'they attract from the cloth' instead of 'they are attracted to the clothing'. Spelling errors such as 'youngones' also occur. These errors do not entirely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. Frequent errors occur, including subject-verb agreement issues ('celebrities is also another reason'), incorrect verb forms ('i will discussed', 'how they use money'), and missing articles. Punctuation errors are also prominent, particularly regarding spacing before commas and periods. While simple sentences are generally understandable, attempts at more complex structures frequently result in grammatical awkwardness that can cause difficulty for the reader. These persistent errors reflect the characteristics of Band 5.

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