Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Excessive shopping is becoming a serious concern in many parts of the world. There are several factors behind however one of the major reason is to live for fabricated world. In order to resolve this issue, people have to understand the real world money management, that i will discuss in this essay.

Being a part of this advance era where people spend most of their time on free-surffing the internet, people get access to explore the faision of every corner of the world. This leads to creat the urge in most of the population to look flawless, outstanding while following the trends. To evaluate this, people all over the world use social media app such as Instagram, facebook and so on, to keep them self updated with the latest news , faision or any other trend which attract the common person for towards the glittery lifestyle of other. Therefore, they start following their favourit celebrities by copping the dresses. Hence, this slowly made them addicted to go for shopping countless time and people end up buying thing that are not even necessary.

By following the dulusion life, people often forget about their basic life style and what actually they had planned for themselves few year back. To resolve this issue, one has to draw a long run picture for the better future. Needs to see how over spending on cloth will ultimately become the reason for financial crises. For instance, if the annual amount of shopping have been saved in fixed deposit in any bank that could have generated 20 to 30% extra interest rate for the future buisness investment. Moreover, the income generated from the buisness will support future expensis of one's family in the nearest future.

In conclusion, the over spending on cloths are caused by the everyday social media tends which make person blind while purchasing expensive dresses. However real world understanding can resolve this issue.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, exploring reasons for excessive clothing purchases (such as social media influence and the desire to follow celebrity trends) and suggesting potential solutions (improving financial literacy and looking at long-term savings). However, the development of ideas lacks depth in certain areas. For example, while the writer mentions social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook, the explanation of how people can be persuaded to reduce their purchases is somewhat repetitive and relies heavily on vague notions of 'real world understanding' and fixed deposits. The position is clear, but the ideas would benefit from more concrete examples and fuller extension. This performance aligns best with the Band 6 descriptors, as all parts of the task are addressed, but some elements remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, attempting a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. However, cohesion is often faulty and mechanical. Expressions like 'To evaluate this,' 'To resolve this issue,' and 'Hence, this slowly made them addicted' feel unnatural and fail to establish smooth logical bridges between sentences. Furthermore, referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in phrases like 'what actually they had planned for themselves.' Paragraphing is present, but the overall progression of ideas feels somewhat disjointed due to frequent structural and transitional awkwardness. These features are characteristic of a Band 5.5 to 6.0, and a score of 6.0 is appropriate given the recognizable overall organization.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary, including less common items such as 'excessive shopping,' 'fabricated world,' 'glittery lifestyle,' and 'financial crises.' However, there are numerous word choice, collocation, and spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'free-surffing' instead of 'browsing,' 'faision' instead of 'fashion,' 'creat' instead of 'create,' 'copping' instead of 'copying,' 'dulusion life' instead of 'illusion,' and 'buisness' instead of 'business.' These lexical inaccuracies and spelling mistakes occur frequently. Although communication is generally maintained and the meaning can be understood, the density of errors prevents the lexical score from reaching Band 6.5, placing it firmly at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures through subordinate clauses and conditional constructions (e.g., 'if the annual amount of shopping have been saved...'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tense, agreement, and prepositions, such as 'one of the major reason is to live,' 'that i will discuss,' 'keep them self updated,' 'have been saved,' and 'over spending on cloths are caused.' Punctuation is also problematic in places, particularly with run-on structures and missing commas. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, particularly regarding verb agreement and pluralization, the performance fits the Band 5 descriptors.

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