Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Purchasing far too many clothes are increasingly becoming common in many parts of the world. It is important to identify the root causes behind that and find solutions to persuade people to reduce the number of clothes they buy.

Nowadays, there are lot of people suffering from mental disorders, especially senior citizens due to loneliness or dementia. Most of them are suffering from hoarding habits they can't control, as it gives them pleasure. As a result of that, they tend to purchase lots of clothes online, even though they don't have the ability to wear them. For an instance, once I had a volunteer opportunity to provide assistance to an old lady, who has suffered from a cancer. Due to her sickness and the loneliness, she used to purchase too many clothes as a habit. During that volunteer period, I noticed that there are lots of people in the world are purchasing many clothes as a mental disorder. That volunteer agency helps them with providing medical assistance to their hoarding habits and also encourages them to donate the extra clothes to unprivileged people. Due to those actions, those unprivileged people don't have to spend money on clothes.

Another major reason is, many people are using social media and influenced by the heavily promoted advertisements about the new fashion trends all over the world. As a result, most people tend to buy clothes online due to seasonal sales, discounts and promotions on social media platforms. For an example, SHEIN is one of the largest online clothing platforms in the world. They have the ability to track our personal details and purchasing habits through social media. They promoting clothing advertisements on our social media feeds about newest fashion trends and coupons. Individuals should have the ability to not to buy far too many clothes, if they really don't want it.

Another important concern is that a recent study shows that most of the online clothing companies are using fabrics, which are harmful to human skin and also difficult to recycle.

In conclusion, in order to persuade people to reduce the number of clothes they buy, government and other relevant parties must take actions to regulate the harmful fabrics and advertisements. Volunteer agencies should also encourage people to donate or thrift the clothes, if they have too many.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the task: identifying reasons for excessive clothes buying and suggesting ways people can be persuaded to reduce it. The student covers causes such as psychological hoarding behaviours and aggressive social media marketing, and proposes solutions like regulation and donations. However, some ideas are slightly tangential; for example, the lengthy personal anecdote about a volunteer experience focusing on mental illness and cancer conflates hoarding disorder with general overconsumption, and paragraph four introduces the unrelated issue of harmful fabrics. While all parts are addressed, the development of ideas becomes somewhat unfocused and wanders into tangential points, aligning best with a Band 6.0 performance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate different ideas, such as the psychological reasons versus marketing influences. However, the management of cohesive devices is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'For an instance', 'Another major reason is, many people', and 'In conclusion, in order to persuade' show repetitive patterns and punctuation awkwardness. Furthermore, referencing within paragraphs is occasionally unclear, such as how the discussion on harmful fabrics in paragraph four connects logically to the prompt's focus on reducing the volume of clothes purchased. Progression is evident, but cohesion lacks flexibility, placing it firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common terms such as 'root causes', 'hoarding habits', 'discounts and promotions', and 'regulate'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'Purchasing far too many clothes are increasingly becoming common' (subject-verb agreement and phrasing), 'for an instance', 'unprivileged people' (instead of underprivileged or disadvantaged), and 'thrift the clothes'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but vocabulary control shows frequent minor inaccuracies in phrasing and collocation, matching the criteria for a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are persistent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors like 'Purchasing... are increasingly becoming', awkward negative structures ('ability to not to buy'), and missing articles or incorrect prepositions ('hoarding habits they can't control', 'on social media platforms'). While these errors do not severely impede communication because the overall message remains understandable, they occur frequently enough to prevent the text from reaching a Band 7.0, which requires frequent error-free sentences.

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