Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Clothing industry is emerging day by day. People love to buy clothes and sometimes, unnecessarily. There can be multiple reasons to buy too many clothes. In this essay, I will be discussing a few of them and how people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy. As we know, our society is divided into class system. Middle and lower class just buy clothes to their need and they can wear them for years. For them, its just a piece to cover their body as their pocket does not allow them to overspend. On the other hand, those belonging to upper class spend lavishly on clothes because they have to maintain their status in society. They think they are in competition with other people. They want to have a sense of superiority by having more clothes and showing them off. Additionally, those working in the corporate sector have to buy clothes in much higher number as they work in environment where they have to impress their clients. I know a lot of people working in offices who spend mpre than half of their salary just on buying dresses. There is a huge need to make people understand about unneeded expenditure on clothing. There should be awareness campaigns to show people how this class system is making them buy more clothes and making middle/lower class feel about their situations. Moreover, rising demand for clothing is a cause increased numbee of factories which cause water and air polution. People can be shown the loss our environment is facing due to this. In conclusion, decresed respect for moral values is causing a rise materialistic thinking among peple. They think that filling their closets with clothes will enhance their personalities but the truth is opposite. They should be taught about changing the perspective and reduce the comeptition to put each other down.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying reasons for excessive clothing purchases, such as social class status, corporate pressure, and materialism, and suggests solutions like awareness campaigns and environmental education. The writer presents a clear position throughout the essay. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed and would benefit from deeper extension and more specific real-world examples rather than broad generalizations about social classes. Nevertheless, the main prompts of the task are adequately covered, fulfilling the requirements for Band 6.5 to 7.0. Given the solid coverage of both reasons and solutions, it sits comfortably at Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a logical overall organization, moving from an introduction to causes, then solutions, and finally a conclusion. Paragraphing is used, though the body of the text feels slightly clumped together as the transition between the causes and solutions lacks clear paragraph breaks, which impacts overall progression. Cohesive devices are attempted ('On the other hand', 'Additionally', 'Moreover', 'In conclusion'), but referencing can be mechanical or occasionally unclear, such as 'how people be persuaded'. While the progression is generally clear, the lack of distinct paragraphing for the different parts of the prompt keeps the score at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, incorporating topic-specific terms like 'corporate sector', 'expenditure', and 'materialistic thinking'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'polution' instead of pollution, 'decresed' instead of decreased, 'comeptition' instead of competition, and 'peple' instead of people. Phrasing like 'rise materialistic thinking' also indicates lapses in collocation. While communication is never impeded, these inaccuracies prevent the response from achieving a Band 7.0, placing it securely at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar with structures like 'As we know, our society is divided into class system' and 'They think they are in competition with other people.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('divided into a class system', 'to their need'), tense and modal errors ('how people be persuaded'), and preposition misuse. These errors occasionally disrupt the flow, but they rarely impede overall communication. The range of structures is somewhat limited and flawed, aligning well with the Band 6.0 descriptors.

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