Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people in some countries love to buy a wide variety of clothes. There are several reasons for this, which I will discuss in this essay, and I will also describe how to overcome this problem with a relevant example.

The first reason behind it is the popularity of social media. To elaborate, the new generation follows popular faces on social media such as Facebook and Instagram, leading them to want to become like these people. For example, 90 percent of youngsters have the motive in life to become a social media influencer. Therefore, they buy clothes to show their status and want to become attractive people.

There are several solutions; first and foremost is the parents and school teacher guide them properly. To explain, if a child has a dream to become a police officer or CEO, their most of the focus more on studying rather than following fashion on social media, which attracts them to buy more clothes. Secondly, people who buy a number of clothes should think that it is just a waste of money. For example, during school time, if teacher provide a lesson to them how to spend money on valuable things, such as financial management classes should be held in school, which helps to reduce this upcoming problem in their life.

Overall, attractive advertisements regarding clothing brands and the popularity of social media enhance the habit of buying more clothes. Proper guidance and saving habits reduce this problem. High goals and getting achievement reduce the distraction of wasting money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the task by identifying reasons for excessive clothing purchases, such as social media influence, and proposing solutions like proper parental and teacher guidance. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the ideas are somewhat limited and lack deep extension. For instance, the discussion on social media influencers is brief and relies on a sweeping generalisation ('90 percent of youngsters'). Similarly, the solutions are presented in a slightly repetitive manner without fully exploring how educational systems can practically implement such changes. While all requirements of the prompt are covered, the development of ideas aligns more closely with the Band 6 descriptor, where relevant points are raised but remain somewhat under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, cohesion is occasionally faulty and mechanical. Phrases like 'To elaborate' and 'To explain' are used repeatedly, and transitional links between sentences can be abrupt. For example, the transition from discussing social media to solutions feels a bit disjointed. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'their most of the focus more on studying', which disrupts the logical flow of ideas. These organizational flaws place the response solidly at Band 6, where progression is sometimes hampered by mechanical cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate main ideas about consumerism and social media. There are attempts to use less common items and topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'social media influencer', 'status', and 'financial management'. However, noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form occur throughout the text. Examples include 'their most of the focus more on studying' and 'if teacher provide a lesson'. Furthermore, vocabulary repetition (e.g., repeating 'reduce this problem' and 'buy clothes') limits the lexical range. These errors do not seriously impede communication, making this performance a clear fit for Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing subordinate clauses such as 'which I will discuss in this essay' and 'if a child has a dream'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in syntax and word structure, particularly in complex structures, such as 'their most of the focus more on studying' and 'if teacher provide a lesson to them how to spend money'. Punctuation and article usage are also occasionally problematic. While simple sentences are generally accurate and meaning is rarely obscured, the high frequency of structural errors prevents the essay from reaching a Band 6.5 or 7, supporting a score of 5.5.

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