Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, In many countries individuals prefer to buy bunch of attire everytime. In this eassy I will discuss some causes of this development and few demerit points about this situation, which can make people to think about this situation and give them a sense of realization what they are doing.

The primary reason for this development is celebrating many festivals in a year. In simple word, in many parts of the world so many festivities are celebrated, therefore people want to wear new fabric everytime as they want to look good. For example, in India festivals like Ganesh chaturthi, Janmasatmi, Diwali, Navratri and so many are celebrated in a whole year, so in every occasion people prefer to buy new clothes. Secondly, there are so many time they buy a new clothes just for happiness. In other words, during some special events like birthday, anniversary, get together, farewell and more.

It is very important for the people to realize some drawbacks of this development. Firstly, it directly affects the environment. To simplify, for producing clothes, there are needs for many natural and chemical materials. To illustrate, for producing basic fabric there are emission of huge amount of carbon dioxide which affects the climate very much. Moreover, there is also a need of big amount of water, so basically it also reduce the quantity of pure water in the whole world.

In conclusion, people tend to buy a new clothes for enjoying festivals and some special occasions. However, the impact of clothe production to the climate by increasing green house gases and reducing pure water are the points to convince individuals to take care of environment by reduce the number of clothes they buy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: causes for buying too many clothes (festivals and special events) and solutions/persuasion methods (realizing the environmental impacts like greenhouse gases and water reduction). However, the second part of the prompt asks how people can be persuaded, whereas your response focuses more on explaining the drawbacks rather than direct strategies of persuasion, though you do mention that realizing these drawbacks can convince individuals. Ideas are presented but remain somewhat repetitive and under-developed, particularly in the conclusion where you restate the causes and effects rather than offering a concise summary of persuasive strategies. This performance aligns well with the Band 5 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is organised into four paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing some overall structure. However, there are noticeable cohesion and referencing issues. Phrases like 'In simple word' and 'there are so many time' disrupt the logical flow, and cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or inadequate. Paragraph progression is slightly hindered by repetitive phrasing, such as starting multiple sentences with 'To simplify' or 'To illustrate'. While referencing is generally understandable, the links between sentences lack flexibility. This sits comfortably within the Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, which impacts the overall precision of the essay. Words like 'clothes', 'buy', and 'production' are repeated frequently. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations, such as 'buy bunch of attire everytime', 'new fabric everytime', and 'demerit points'. Additionally, spelling and word form errors occur, such as 'eassy' instead of 'essay' and 'green house' instead of 'greenhouse'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the frequent inaccuracies place it at Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

There is a mix of simple and attempted complex sentence structures, but many complex forms contain significant errors. Examples of grammatical inaccuracies include 'there are needs for many natural', 'there are emission of huge amount', and 'reduce the quantity' (subject-verb agreement errors). Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent, such as 'buy a new clothes'. Although the meaning remains mostly clear despite these frequent errors, the lack of error-free complex sentences prevents the response from reaching a higher band. This reflects the Band 5 criteria.

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