Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In somewhere of the globe, individuals purchase far too several clothes. Even they do not need. This essay will discuss.

On the one hand, why people purchase clothes, because of every day launch new new trendy wear, so people have old clothes but they purchase new outfit. Several company offer lots of discount on clothes, For instant, 50 % off and Buy one get one free these type of scheme customer attract they do not need but even then buy clothes. Nowadays, social media also play role in selling products, many celebrities and influencers wear new and trendy clothes, people copy them because they look good like, and many companies selling outfit cheap rates, so people can easy purchase clothes.

On the other hand, how can explain, people buy less garments. More clothes productions are harmful environment to explain people. Individuals should think before purchase, should i buy this outfits ? If yes or no then after purchase. Do not throw old clothes, because that clothes give poor people and help them. Government and manufacturing companies can promote awareness program like sustainable fashion.

In conclusion, People purchase outfit because of trendy, big discounts and social media. If we increase environment awareness and people buy only need clothes,so we can reduce these problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response covers both parts of the task, explaining reasons for excessive clothes buying, such as rapid trends and discounts, and suggesting solutions like awareness programs and garment donation. However, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack sufficient expansion and relevant examples. Furthermore, the response fails to meet the minimum word length requirement, as it contains only 212 words instead of the required 250 words. This under-length severely limits the depth of task coverage and pulls down the task achievement score. To reach higher bands, the writer must fully develop each main point with detailed explanations and examples while ensuring the essay meets the word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into basic paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is disjointed, and sentences are often fragmented. For example, phrases like 'This essay will discuss' are left hanging, and transitional markers are mechanical or inaccurate (e.g., 'how can explain, people buy less garments'). Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or omitted entirely, making the logical flow difficult to follow at times. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal coherence needs significant improvement through better referencing and smoother transitions between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently reusing words like 'clothes', 'outfit', 'purchase', and 'people'. There are frequent word-formation errors and awkward collocations, such as 'In somewhere of the globe', 'far too several clothes', and 'harmful environment to explain people'. While the writer attempts to introduce less common topics related to shopping and fashion, the control over lexical items is weak, and inaccuracies frequently strain the reader's understanding. To improve, the student should focus on learning accurate word forms and expanding their range of descriptive vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and flawed complex structures. There are persistent, major errors in sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. Examples include 'Even they do not need', 'every day launch new new trendy wear', and 'that clothes give poor people'. Many sentences are grammatically incomplete or run-on errors, which frequently impede communication and place a heavy burden on the reader. The writer needs to focus on foundational sentence structures, ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb, before attempting more complex forms.

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