Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern society, purchasing cosmetic supplies and undergoing procedures such as plastic surgery and Botox are becoming increasingly common among people, as these products and surgeries improve their physical appearance and overall health. I believe that this trend has fewer advantages than disadvantages.

To begin with, the trend of using cosmetic products and undergoing procedures has been common for many decades. People apply these products to improve their skin and foster their overall personality. Individuals, with increasing age, often get wrinkles on their faces, which develop a certain sense of embarrassment among people and motivate them to apply skin products. This benefits them by increasing social interaction and boosting their self-confidence. Furthermore, procedures such as skin transplants and plastic surgery help individuals improve their overall health. For instance, individuals who have excess fat volume often undergo skin removal surgery, which extracts additional fat from around the body parts. Hence, this improves the individual's health and physical appearance.

However, with certain benefits, this trend also has some consequences. In this developing society, many companies claim that their cosmetic products are composed of natural ingredients, but this is often a false statement. With the increasing demand for cosmetic products and the desire to achieve positive feedback from consumers, manufacturers add certain chemicals such as salicylic acid, which is quite beneficial for extracting excessive oil from the skin. However, excessive use of these products often leads to skin irritation and increased sensitivity to UV rays. Furthermore, procedures such as plastic surgery often has high probability of failure. People has a false assumption that by getting these treatments will improve their physical appearance. However, a minor mistake can affect the skin and further leads to negative development. For instance, celebrities gets more social attention due their physical appearance, this make people motivate to undergo certain skin surgeries, but sometimes individuals are not satisfied after the post operation. Hence it leads to create a negative impact on them and make themselves isolated and prevent any social interaction, thus affect their mental health.

In conclusion, although cosmetic products and procedures are beneficial to improve physical appearance and maintain a youthful look, but with excessive use and a small mistake can make a significant impact on individual mental health and appearance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The candidate has unfortunately misread the prompt entirely. While the prompt asks about buying too many clothes, the reasons for this, and how people can be persuaded to reduce their clothing purchases, the student writes entirely about cosmetic products, plastic surgery, and Botox procedures. Because the response does not address the topic of clothes at all, it fails to meet the core requirements of the task. However, within the context of the essay written, the writer does take a clear position and develops arguments regarding the pros and cons of cosmetic procedures. Regrettably, due to the completely off-topic nature regarding the specific task prompt, the Task Achievement score is severely impacted.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Despite the off-topic content, the essay demonstrates a clear overall structural organization. The writer uses standard organizational signposts such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through the paragraphs. Paragraphing is used logically, separating the introduction, the advantages, the disadvantages, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are generally present, though some referencing and transitions are a bit mechanical or imprecise, such as 'Hence it leads to create a negative impact'. Nevertheless, the logical arrangement and flow of the text indicate a higher level of structural coherence than the lowest band descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer displays an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for discussing medical and personal care topics, utilizing words and phrases like 'undergoing procedures', 'physical appearance', 'salicylic acid', and 'skin sensitivity'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'purchasing cosmetic supplies' instead of 'using cosmetics', and awkward phrasing like 'extracts additional fat'. Word forms are sometimes incorrect, for instance, 'gets more social attention due their physical appearance, this make people motivate'. These lexical errors occasionally strain the reader, but vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt to use varied structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors involving subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, such as 'procedures such as plastic surgery often has high probability' and 'People has a false assumption'. Furthermore, fragment or run-on structures appear, such as 'For instance, celebrities gets more social attention due their physical appearance, this make people motivate...'. While some complex sentences are successfully formed, the frequency of grammatical errors places the response firmly within the Band 5 descriptors.

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