Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is commonly seen that in many parts of the world, individuals puchase numerous number of clothes. In the following paragraphs, this essay will examine reasons behind this and how can be people convinced to decrease to number of clothes they buy.

To begin with, people often buy more clothes to presents themselves as an elite class. They think the more variety of clothes they have, the more people are likely to think they have more financial resources. Individuals often judge others by their outfits, and due to this, people tend to buy more atire to pretend themsleves rich and modern. Other compelling reason behind this is social media. For example, many social media users believe that if they post videos in the same dress, they will get low views on social media. To increase thier reach on digital platforms, people spend largely on clothes and buy too many clothes. To address this, what the government can do is encourage people to spend according to thier needs. By showing examples of successful people who never spend much on thier outfits, the government can convince the public to buy limited clothing. The ceo of Facebook usually wear one shirt everytime while he is financially able to buy many clothes. Moreover, social media influencer can show their truth about everyday atire. In other words, influencers should reveal their truth on social media that their everyday outfits are the part of paid promotions. They wear new dresses to promote products of particular company.

In conclusion, although people buy too many clothes to look modern,financially capable and gain popularity on social media, the government and digital media influencers can encourge them to stop overbuying by sharing true stories and truth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the reasons for buying too many clothes and how people can be persuaded to reduce this behavior. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are relevant, such as the desire to project a high social status and the pressure from social media trends. However, some of the supporting ideas and examples, like the mention of Mark Zuckerberg wearing one shirt, are slightly under-developed or informal in tone. Nonetheless, the task is successfully covered, aligning well with the Band 6.5 or Band 7 criteria, particularly as the main requirements of the prompt are addressed with logical extensions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used, though there is a noticeable formatting spacing issue in the second body paragraph. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are employed to guide the reader through the text, although referencing and linking can occasionally feel mechanical or repetitive ('Other compelling reason behind this', 'what the government can do'). Logical progression is maintained from the causes to the solutions, satisfying the descriptors for Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'elite class', 'financial resources', and 'paid promotions'. However, there are several noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'puchase', 'numerous number', 'atire', 'themselves', 'thier', and 'encourge'. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the lexical score from reaching higher bands. To improve, the student needs to focus on spelling accuracy and precision in word collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as conditional and dependent clause usage ('They think the more variety of clothes they have, the more people are likely to think...'). There are frequent grammatical and punctuation errors present, such as 'how can be people convinced', 'decrease to number', 'The ceo of Facebook usually wear one shirt', and missing commas or spacing issues. While these errors occur regularly, the meaning remains clear and they rarely impede overall communication, placing the response solidly in the Band 6 category.

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