Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.
What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued that, in this modern world purchase of garments by a considerable amount of population has increased. This raises important concern of why this buying behaviour is changing, Additionally how can this buying behaviour change for a reduction in buying trend. This essay will address both aspects and will explain key reasons and solutions to the problem.
To begin with, there can be many reason due to which this buying behaviour is observed, may be poor quality of clothing, addiction of shopping to young individuals, but the primary reason for an increased buying in garment industry is seen due to fast fashion trend, this trend sustains for a very short duration amongst people, and motivates the followers of trend to be updated with fashion, hence result in a increase in procurement of new clothing. For instance, when a celebrity wears a perticular look for a movie, can be followed by many fans end up purchasing same. The same celebrity in next movie might change his look enforcing ideas in mind of followers to move towards a different look. Therefore, the example quoted clearifies the primanry reason for increase in buying behaviour of clothing.
Turning to the second aspect of how to convence individuals for a reduction in buying pattern for garments, can be achieved by many means. From educating children at school by institutions which teaches students how to fully utilise our clothing before buying a new one; to goverments running awareness campaign about landfill due to clothing industry and its harmfull effects to soil. This will support in converting peoples mind resulting in change in buying behavious, For example, a child is taught about harmfull effects of clothing degradation in soil, will chnage his mind before buying a new pair of jeans.
To conclude, there are trends due to which the increase in buying behaviour of clothing is observed, but educating people with right information might change this buying pattern. It is evident that having right information will help with better choices.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the reasons behind excessive clothing purchases and offering solutions to reduce this trend. In the body paragraphs, you identify fast fashion and celebrity influence as primary drivers, and suggest educational programs and government awareness campaigns as solutions. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper extension or specific real-world examples beyond generalities. For instance, mentioning a celebrity look is a good start, but it remains underdeveloped. According to the band descriptors, this reflects a Band 6 level where all parts are addressed, but some ideas are slightly under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two main prompts. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'To begin with', 'Turning to the second aspect', and 'To conclude', which helps guide the reader through the essay. However, referencing and sentence linking can be mechanical or awkward at times, as seen in sentences like 'This raises important concern of why this buying behaviour is changing, Additionally how can this buying behaviour change...' where punctuation and transition words are misused. This fits the Band 6 descriptor where the arrangement is coherent overall, but cohesion is sometimes faulty.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to discuss fashion trends, consumer behaviour, and environmental impacts. You make attempts at less common vocabulary such as 'procurement', 'fast fashion trend', and 'landfill'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'purchase of garments by a considerable amount of population' instead of 'a large portion of the population', and 'addiction of shopping to young individuals' instead of 'shopping addiction among young people'. Spelling and word formation errors also appear, such as 'clearifies' and 'primanry'. These limitations and occasional errors place your lexical resource score at Band 6.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms in your response. There are attempts at complex structures, such as conditional or relative clauses, but these are frequently marred by grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes. For example, comma splices and run-on sentences appear frequently, such as in the second body paragraph: '...from educating children at school by institutions which teaches students... to goverments running awareness campaign...'. Subject-verb agreement errors ('institutions which teaches') and missing articles ('a increase', 'harmfull effects') are also present. These errors occasionally cause strain for the reader, though they do not completely impede communication, aligning well with the Band 5 descriptor.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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