Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.
What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In certain parts of the world, individuals purchase a significant number of clothes for their workplace or to fulfill their personal interests. This essay will discuss how corporate pressure drives this over-purchasing trend, and how implementing mandatory uniforms and remote work options can successfully mitigate the problem.
One of the primary reasons for excessive clothing purchases is the pressure to maintain a professional appearance at onsite jobs. This is because employees who interact daily with corporate clients or senior executives feel compelled to wear diverse outfits to project confidence and authority. This is because employees who interact daily with corporate clients or senior executives feel compelled to wear diverse outfits to project confidence and authority. • As a result, the necessity of workplace professionalism drives individuals to buy far more garments than they genuinely require.
To address this issue, corporate organizations should implement strict dress codes or mandatory company uniforms. This is because an individual will start spending less on formal clothes. Additionally ,they will be easily identified by their uniform such as blue shirts for juniors and white shirts for seniors. For example, office management data illustrates that staff make extra savings after intriducing particular dress code. As a result, 87% of the staff is happy with office uniform rather than variety of formal clothing pairs.
Taking everything into account, I believe that implementing mandatory uniforms and offering work-from-home options are highly effective solutions to counteract excessive spending on clothing. Ultimately, these adjustments will help employees reduce unnecessary consumption while fostering a more balanced and sustainable corporate culture.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the main parts of the task by discussing the reasons for over-purchasing clothes and suggesting ways to reduce consumption, such as implementing uniforms. However, some ideas remain under-developed or somewhat limited in scope. For instance, the discussion around workplace pressure is introduced, but the expansion relies heavily on a repeated sentence within the second paragraph: 'This is because employees who interact daily with corporate clients or senior executives feel compelled to wear diverse outfits to project confidence and authority.' Furthermore, while solutions are offered, the reasoning behind how work-from-home options reduce overall clothing purchases is not fully extended. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to explore ideas more thoroughly with broader reasoning and fully supported examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure that moves from introduction to reasons, solutions, and conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. The most noticeable issue is the inadvertent repetition of a complete sentence in the second paragraph, which disrupts the logical flow. Additionally, referencing and transitional markers can be somewhat formulaic, such as using 'This is because' repeatedly to introduce explanations. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas, but clearer progression between the reasons and the proposed solutions would elevate the organizational quality of the response.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The writer displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'mitigate the problem,' 'corporate pressure,' and 'unnecessary consumption.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and spelling that reflect the boundaries of this band. For example, the phrase 'intriducing particular dress code' contains a spelling error ('intriducing') and a missing article ('a... dress code'). Similarly, phrases like 'formal clothing pairs' sound slightly unnatural compared to standard collocations like 'formal outfits.' These lexical slips do not impede communication, but they prevent the vocabulary from achieving greater precision and natural control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordinate clauses and relative structures like 'employees who interact daily.' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, such as spacing and punctuation issues around conjunctions, as seen in 'Additionally ,they'. Other minor errors involve article usage and prepositional patterns within sentence structures. Nevertheless, these grammatical and punctuation mistakes rarely impede communication, and the meaning of the sentences remains clear throughout. To improve further, the writer should focus on increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences and polishing punctuation habits.
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