Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people are becoming more shopoholic, they tend to buy more clothes without any need. There are serveral reasons of unnecessary buying such as discount on clothes and online advertisment, which presist them to buy clothes. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will discuss the causes of extra spending on clothes and how to convience them to stop buying extra dresses.

Firstly, there are several reasons like discounts and famous celebrities advertise encourage people to spend extra on dresses. Big fashion companies put extra discounts on their merchandise to attracts people to buy their clothes. Mostly, they give heavy discounts on the products those are not selling well, after see discounts on their favourite brands people tends to buy it without any need. According to survey, when season is getting off bug brands put extra discount on their off season products, which lead people to buy it without any need. In addition, people always follow famous personility fashion style, so they always buy the dress, which their ideals wear. As a result they spend more on the fasion merchandise.

However, influence them to reduce shopping extra clothes, there are some steps can be taken. First, they should limit their monthy budget of shopping, with this they have an idea that how much they should spend on shopping on new dress. They are more likely to organise their spending. Also, they should be mindfull while buying clothes, because famous persons have lot of money to spend but common people have a limit amount to spend, so they should wisely spend their earning.

In conclusion, buying clothes ocassionally is benefical, but unecessary spend on clothes put adverse affect on the pocket of an individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the task: discounts and celebrity influence are given as reasons, while budgeting and more careful spending are suggested as ways to reduce purchases. The examples about end-of-season discounts and people copying celebrities make the causes relevant. However, some ideas are more fully explained than others. The discount point is developed with a clear explanation, but the celebrity influence is mostly asserted, and the proposed solutions are brief. For example, you could explain how setting a monthly clothing limit changes buying habits, or suggest public campaigns that encourage repairing and reusing clothes. The conclusion restates your view about unnecessary spending but does not bring the proposed solutions together. More balanced development and specific support would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “In addition,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages, and the shift to solutions is signalled by “However.” This coherent structure meets the task well. To move further, make connections between sentences more natural and precise. For instance, “However, influence them to reduce shopping extra clothes” does not clearly connect the previous paragraph to the solutions, and “with this” has an unclear reference. Some linking phrases also feel formulaic. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s focus directly, then connect explanations and examples without relying mainly on signposting words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “discounts,” “merchandise,” “budget,” and “spend,” and you attempt more specific expressions such as “off-season products.” However, the range is limited in places, and several word choices, collocations, and spelling errors reduce precision. Examples include “shopoholic,” “advertisment,” “personility,” and “fasion”; “extra dresses” and “famous personility fashion style” are also unnatural expressions. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main ideas, but they make the writing less fluent and sometimes unclear. Build a more accurate set of phrases for consumer behaviour, such as “impulse purchases,” “fashion trends,” and “buying habits,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “so,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences. For example, “Big fashion companies put extra discounts on their merchandise to attracts people” has an incorrect verb form after “to,” while “people tends to buy it” has a subject–verb agreement error. The opening sentence joins two independent clauses with only a comma, and “after see discounts” lacks the correct verb form. Articles and sentence construction also need attention in phrases such as “have a limit amount.” Practise checking each clause for a clear subject and correctly formed verb, and use shorter sentences when a complex structure becomes difficult to control.

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