Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Fashion has become a top priority for teenagers and elders in today's era. People believe that their clothing choices shape their personality. Therefore, this essay will articulate some of its problems, such as judgement and competition and propose some possible solutions to alleviate this.

Clothes are categorised into different varietes and types. Almost every college or university-going student wants to be admired by their friends and enemies. They believe clothes make them look more powerful and outstanding. This boosts their confidence and improves their skills. Nowadays, judging someone through their clothes has become very common. Many companies and organisations, especially in London, Paris and Mumbai, conduct fashion shows through which a person can outshine others' skills and sense of fashion through clothing. This generates a sense of complexity among pupils and create tension.

Moreover, shopping has become very affordable and efficient. In the current smart world, online shopping platforms are built to help people choose wisely by saving their time and energy. There are widely used apps like Shein, temu, amazon ehich makes clothing particular and easy to access. To survive in a competitive generation, where social life matters most clothes and other essentials are necessary to fit in the group. These factors have increased the number of buyers and made it more complex to backstep.

However, to balance the situation, shopping apps need to be limited and more people should get encouraged by running advertisements and TV shows to explain the importance of money by investing it to valuable items. Universities should implement uniforms to generate equality among students and reduce external competition.

To conclude, a piece of cloth can be difficult to deal with, and in contrast, it can be used as a weapon to deliver their thoughts confidently. Therefore, minimal purchasing can help grow different factors in life and make it more productive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both questions: it identifies social pressure, competition and convenient online shopping as reasons for buying too many clothes, then suggests limiting shopping apps, using advertising to promote careful spending and introducing university uniforms. These are relevant ideas, and the position that purchasing should be reduced is clear. However, some points are not fully explained. For example, the link between fashion shows and students’ buying habits is unclear, and the claim that clothing “improves their skills” is not supported. The proposed limits on shopping apps also need explanation of how they could be implemented or persuade consumers. Develop each main point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation or a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to two paragraphs on causes, a paragraph of solutions and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “However” and “To conclude” help signal these stages. Within paragraphs, though, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are placed together without clear connections. For instance, the discussion moves from online shopping’s convenience to fitting into a social group without fully explaining the link. Some references are also unclear, including “This” after the discussion of fashion shows and “it” in the conclusion. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect supporting details explicitly and make pronoun references precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

There is an adequate range for discussing the topic, including phrases such as “online shopping platforms,” “competitive generation” and “external competition.” The writer also attempts more formal vocabulary, for example “alleviate” and “implement.” However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural and make ideas less precise: “a sense of complexity” appears to mean social pressure or insecurity, while “backstep” does not fit the intended meaning of reducing purchases. There are also spelling errors such as “varietes” and “ehich,” and “clothing particular” is unclear. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling; precise wording will make the argument easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “apps … which makes clothing particular and easy to access” and a conditional-style phrase beginning “To survive in a competitive generation.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “This generates … and create tension” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “apps … which makes” also has a mismatch between the plural noun and verb. The sentence beginning “To survive…” lacks clear punctuation around its introductory phrase, making the relationship between ideas harder to follow. Review agreement, sentence boundaries and punctuation, while continuing to use varied structures.

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