Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Today,many individual persue more and more clothes this situation is many reason .so i will discuss this toic in the upcoming paragraphs.

Recents years, some people to use go for shooping in monthly two or three times,they get new clothes to the market.consequenty this ratio is increase day by day.beacause of that noadays life is very compatative and get to good personality accure.so people by new and stylist clothes of two reason first they get good prosperity and wealth and the second reason is they show off some cases.For examplepepole have been to work from the company and they have a good clothes like business.therefore they were buying new and new clothes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify two relevant reasons for buying many clothes: wanting to look professional or attractive and wanting to show off wealth. The example about employees needing business clothes supports the first point. However, the response addresses only the reasons part of the question; it gives no way to persuade people to buy fewer clothes, so a major task requirement is missing. The ideas are also brief and not clearly explained—for instance, the link between a “good personality” and buying stylish clothes is difficult to follow. The response is 112 words, below the required 250, which leaves too little space to develop both parts. To improve, answer each question directly, explain each idea, and add a relevant example or practical solution.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening introduces the topic, and the next paragraph gives reasons and an example. Connectors such as “because of that,” “therefore,” and “for example” show an effort to link ideas. However, the progression is difficult to follow because several points are crowded into one paragraph, and the opening does not clearly preview the response. Some links are unclear: “this ratio” has no precise reference, while “first” and “the second reason” introduce ideas that are not fully separated or explained. The response also ends without a conclusion or a paragraph addressing solutions. Use separate paragraphs for reasons and solutions, and make each sentence build clearly on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “personality,” “prosperity and wealth,” “show off,” and “business,” so the reader can identify some of your intended ideas. There is also an effort to use descriptive language such as “new and stylistic clothes.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word combinations often make the message hard to understand, as in “persue,” “compatative,” and “good personality accure.” Some expressions, including “get to good personality” and “good clothes like business,” do not communicate the intended meaning clearly. Build accuracy with common topic collocations before trying more ambitious phrasing; for example, use “buy fashionable clothes” and “dress professionally.” Proofread spelling and choose words that express one precise idea.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make an attempt to form longer sentences and give reasons, using structures such as “because of that” and “For example.” This shows some awareness of how to connect clauses. However, sentence boundaries and basic grammatical patterns are not controlled consistently. For example, “some people to use go for shopping” has an incomplete and confused verb structure, while “this ratio is increase” uses an incorrect verb form. Articles, agreement, and punctuation also need attention, as in “in monthly two or three times” and the run-on opening sentence. These errors make several sentences difficult to interpret. Practise writing accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause, checking verb forms, articles, and full stops.

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