Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In various parts of the world, the masses are purchasing huge amounts of attires because of social media influence and they can decline the cloth purchase by understanding the financial value in life.

To begin with, these days people love to buy more garments. This is mainly because digital platforms have become increasingly popular among all age groups. By following certain influencers who use to post several videos with different looks and oufits impress individuals, and have negative impact on youngsters, adults, and children, therefore, they prefer to purchase attractive clothes and result in unnecessary expenditure. For instance, the rate of purchasing clothing from websites have increased dramatically from last decade, and a famous website Shein is earning profitable revenue every year.

Furthermore, providing knowledge on managing finances can play a significant important role in decreasing the purchase of many clothes. Parents and school can help individuals by providing brief information about useless spending on clothes, and how it can negatively affect their income spending. As a result, understanding funds can prove to be beneficial for indivi For example, people who overspend on just their appearance, they usually drown in debt because they invest more on garments.

In conclusion, it is clear that nowadays people are recklessly spending money on attires by blindly following vloggers on social sites which result in unnecessary spending. This issue requires careful consideration by financially educating individuals by their guardians at home and tutors at school in order to achieve a long-term benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions: social-media influence is given as a reason for buying too many clothes, and financial education is proposed as a way to reduce purchases. The examples of influencers and Shein help make the first point relevant, while the debt example supports your suggested solution. However, the response is short of the required 250 words, and this limits the opportunity to explain the ideas fully. The solution is also narrower than the cause: you could explain more clearly how financial education changes buying habits, or add another practical measure, such as promoting clothing swaps or encouraging people to buy durable items. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the reason and solution, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the main ideas are generally grouped appropriately. This coherent organisation is a strength. To make the links more natural and precise, avoid relying on formulaic transitions and clarify how one idea leads to the next. For example, the sentence beginning “By following certain influencers” contains several connected points, so dividing it into shorter sentences would improve flow. The second body paragraph also ends abruptly at “indivi,” which interrupts cohesion; complete the thought and connect the example directly to the proposed solution.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “digital platforms,” “influencers,” “unnecessary expenditure,” and “managing finances.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the topic beyond basic terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which makes some phrases difficult to interpret. “Attires” and “garments” are less natural here than “clothes,” while “earning profitable revenue” is redundant. There are also spelling errors, including “oufits,” and the phrase “financially educating individuals” is awkward. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than choosing formal-sounding words. Re-read for spelling and check whether each expression is commonly used in English.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a cause-and-effect structure with “As a result” and a relative clause beginning “who overspend.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled successfully, and errors sometimes make the meaning unclear. For example, “By following certain influencers … impress individuals” lacks a clear grammatical subject, and “the rate … have increased” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence “Parents and school can help individuals” also needs more accurate agreement and number. The final phrase “in order to achieve a long-term benefits” has an article/plural mismatch. Practise building one main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses, checking agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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