Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.
What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
There is a trend in some regions of the world that people purchase a lot of clothes beyond their needs. Some people argue that it is beneficial but others reject this notion and they address their opinions to convince the people so that they minimize their extravagant purchases of clothes. There are many reasons which support their perspective. First and foremost, the reason is that in this digital era everyone is familiar with the latest fashion and social media encourages the people to buy online. It is a common phenomenon for the ladies that whenever they are scrolling through their smart phones, inadvertantly, they come across a website of shopping and then they promptly order without considering that they need it or not. Another stricking reason is that globalization and digital marketting is widespread which has made online shopping very convenient. Besides, this reason fashion industry is growing significantly and they are making fashionabkle clothes for every strata of the society and for the individuals of every age, for instance young people, male female and kids. Although these superflous shoppings put immense pressure on the budget of a family, people do not bother to consider its impact in their future. Many renown economists emphasize that people should control their extra purchases in this era of inflation when everything is becoming costly. People should invest their income in different businesses. To recapitulate people should spend their money effectively and pu
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify several relevant reasons for excessive clothing purchases, including social media exposure, convenient online shopping, and the fashion industry’s broad range of products. However, the response only minimally addresses the full task: the reasons receive some explanation, but the second question—how people can be persuaded to buy fewer clothes—is not developed. The suggestion to control spending and invest income is brief and does not explain how people could be persuaded to change their habits. The opening also introduces an unclear debate about whether overbuying is beneficial, rather than establishing a direct position. The response is 11 words below the required minimum. To improve, answer both questions explicitly and support each proposed solution with a practical explanation or example.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The response has a recognisable sequence: it introduces the issue, gives reasons such as social media and online shopping, and ends with a brief recommendation. Linking expressions including “First and foremost,” “Another,” “Besides,” and “To recapitulate” help signal movement between points. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the long central section combines several separate claims without a clear progression. Some connections are difficult to follow, particularly “Besides, this reason fashion industry is growing significantly,” while the conclusion is cut off and does not bring the discussion to a complete close. Organise the response into an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph on persuasion strategies, and a conclusion. Use linking phrases to show relationships between ideas, not simply to announce each new point.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “globalization,” “fashion industry,” “inflation,” and “extravagant purchases,” and these choices show an effort to discuss the issue beyond basic terms. Some less common expressions are not used accurately or naturally, however: “digital marketting is widespread,” “superflous shoppings,” and “fashionabkle clothes” contain spelling or word-form problems, while “address their opinions to convince the people” is an awkward collocation. Repetition of “reason” and “people” also limits flexibility. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding the main topic, but they reduce precision. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “online retail,” “excessive clothing purchases,” and “persuade consumers,” and check spelling and countability before submitting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a conditional-style clause in “whenever they are scrolling through their smart phones” and a relative clause in “which has made online shopping very convenient.” The main ideas are generally understandable, but some sentence structures are awkward or incomplete. For example, “Besides, this reason fashion industry is growing significantly” lacks a clear grammatical connection, and “without considering that they need it or not” is not correctly formed. There are also problems with articles and agreement in phrases such as “the fashion industry … they are making.” Improve control by checking that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practise indirect questions such as “whether they need the item.” Breaking up the longest sentences would also help accuracy.
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