Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, the issue of indviduals purchasing too many clothes has garnered significant attention. I believe this is because peer presure and freqent releace of new trends in the fashion industry and the Government can help modirate this trend by introducing rules to guide the production area in the fashion industries.

One major reason why people buy too many clothes rather than sticking to what they need is peer pressure which is common among younger generation. Many individual do not have the mind of their own and their choices of purchase are usually influenced by what other people are buying. For example, people see an advert on social mediia or even a friend wearing a particular cloth and immidiaty see the need of adding them to their collection. Thus, they end up buying too many clothes than they need. Additionally, frequent change on styles in the fashion house have also contributed to this trend, by making citizens see the need to buy more clothes because of the change in styles.

The government, can help reduce the implusive purchase of clothes my regulating the fashion production industries on the way the produce clothes. they can also be encouraged to reintroduce styles

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify two relevant causes—peer pressure and changing fashion trends—and propose government regulation as a response, so the main topic is understood. However, the task is only partially addressed: the reasons are briefly stated rather than explained in depth, and the solution is not developed. The final sentence, “they can also be encouraged to reintroduce styles,” is unfinished and does not explain who should be encouraged or how this would reduce purchases. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, leaving little room for relevant examples or a clear conclusion. To strengthen the answer, explain how each cause drives overbuying and develop practical measures, such as consumer-awareness campaigns or incentives to buy fewer, longer-lasting garments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure: an introduction, a paragraph about causes, and a paragraph beginning to discuss solutions. Linking expressions such as “For example,” “Thus,” and “Additionally” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression is limited because the causes are grouped together while the solution paragraph stops abruptly, and there is no concluding summary. Some connections are repetitive or unclear; for instance, the explanation after the social-media example repeats the idea that people buy more than they need. The unfinished final sentence also disrupts the flow. Use separate, fully developed paragraphs for the causes and solutions, make each sentence add a distinct point, and finish with a brief conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “peer pressure,” “fashion industry,” “styles,” and “impulsive purchase,” which makes the subject clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “garnered significant attention.” However, spelling errors are frequent and noticeable, including “indviduals,” “presure,” “freqent,” and “modirate,” and some word choices or combinations are unnatural, such as “the mind of their own,” “a particular cloth,” and “change on styles.” These issues can make the reader pause and limit the precision of your message. Aim for accurate, natural collocations—for example, “make independent choices,” “an item of clothing,” and “changes in fashion trends”—and proofread carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms. For example, the sentence beginning “One major reason why people buy too many clothes” uses a subordinate clause, and the example sentence links several ideas. Meaning is generally recoverable, but grammatical control is uneven. There are agreement and number problems in “Many individual do not have,” and the final solution paragraph contains a sentence fragment: “they can also be encouraged to reintroduce styles.” The clause “the way the produce clothes” also lacks a clear grammatical subject and has an incorrect verb form. Punctuation is inconsistent, including the unnecessary comma after “The government.” Check subject–verb agreement, complete every sentence, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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