Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some areas of globe, individuals purchase too many clothes. This is because people want attention in their social group and the influence of social media is also a reason. By regulating advertisements, governements can persuade people to buy less clothes.

Young people buy clothes to gain attention in their friend circle. Youngsters want to have an impact on their peers, so they strive to look unique and stylish, thereby purchasing branded clothes. Moreover, social media also influeces a lot of men and women to shop clothes. They tend to follow their role models, who depict different fashion, resulting in buying the same kinds of clothes. For instance, adults copy Virat Kohli's style, and they often buy same kinds of clothes when they watch him on networking websites.

In order to persude people to spend less on clothes, authorities can enact laws related to the regulation of advertisements. This would not only boost their savings but also help them to spend money on other important matters, such as education or nutrition. For instance, regulating the commercials of costly Denim's jeans on televisions can help vunerable individuals to understand the value of money, and they would save their money for other vital things.

To conclude, young individuals want to show-off their money to their peers that is why they buy too many clothes, and the impact of social media also results in buying too many clothes. Some limitations on advertisements can assist in pursuading men and women to purchase less clothes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you identify peer approval and social-media influence as reasons for buying too many clothes, and propose regulating advertisements as a way to reduce purchases. The examples, including people copying Virat Kohli and commercials for expensive jeans, help make the points relevant. However, the reasons are not equally developed: the link between wanting attention and buying branded clothes is explained, while the social-media point is mostly asserted. The proposed advertising restrictions also need more detail about how they would persuade people, and the conclusion introduces “show-off their money,” which is not fully established in the body. Develop each idea with a clearer explanation and a more specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the reasons and solution, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress in a logical order, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For instance,” and “To conclude” help guide the reader. This organisation is effective, though some connections feel mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “For instance” to introduce examples. There is also some repetition of the central point about buying too many clothes in the introduction and conclusion. Referencing could be clearer in places: “they” in the social-media example requires the reader to infer who is being discussed. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make links between claims and examples more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “branded clothes,” “role models,” “regulation of advertisements,” and “vulnerable individuals.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “depict different fashion.” However, several word-choice and collocation problems make the expression less natural: “in their friend circle,” “shop clothes,” and “show-off their money” do not fit the intended meanings well. Spelling errors such as “governements,” “influeces,” and “persude” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your ideas clearer and more precise without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “role models, who depict different fashion” and a result structure with “thereby purchasing.” Most sentences communicate their meaning, and errors do not generally prevent understanding. Some grammatical inaccuracies remain, however. In “buy less clothes,” the quantifier should agree with the plural noun, while “when they watch him” would be clearer with a more precise subject reference. The sentence beginning “This is because” is understandable, but the response relies heavily on similar statement patterns. Practise accurate articles, plural forms, and sentence boundaries, while varying clause structures to show more control.

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