Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is irrefutable that nowdays individuals like to buy new clothes quite often because of new trend and their increase in demands and choices.There are many reasons for this situation.In this essay ,i will discuss how this situation can be reduced by taking some necessary steps.

There are many reasons why people's demands of shopping is increasing day by day.The first and foremost reason is the consumerism.People today are like to buy more and use less and throw away.They have more money and they want to spend on buying new branded clothes and wants to show off in front of the society.Secondly,the films and serials encourage the younger generation to buy new trendy clothes and wants to copy their favorite actors and other national figures what they are wearing.Because they consider them as their role models.Last but not least, today's young generation influenced by western culture so they are buying that kind of clothes and follow that culture.

However, many steps can be taken to address this issue.The prominent step is that government should give importance to local films and serials so that people are not interested in western culture . Moreover, individuals should know the value of money and financial budgeting,which will help them to save the money and they can use them for future use.If they have enough money then they can use for the donation and help needy people who are suffering with major health issues and with daily needs.Lastly,people and government should also take care about the environment because buying new clotges lead to more and more use of polythene bags which are harmful for society and animals.

In conclusion , i would like to reiterate that there are many reasons if people are purchasing more and more clothes.However, this can be mitigate by taking some necessary measures.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both questions: it identifies reasons for frequent clothing purchases and proposes ways to reduce them. Consumerism, disposable buying habits, celebrity influence and Western fashion are relevant points. However, some explanations are more developed than others. The discussion of consumerism includes spending and showing off, while the point about Western culture is asserted without an example or explanation of how it drives excessive purchases. The proposed measures—promoting local films, budgeting and considering environmental harm—are relevant, but the links between them and actually buying fewer clothes could be made clearer. For instance, explain how budgeting might set a clothing limit, or suggest practical steps such as repairing, reusing or buying second-hand. The conclusion restates the general position but does not bring the main solutions together clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph on solutions and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “The first and foremost reason,” “Secondly,” “Moreover” and “Lastly” help readers follow the points, and the shift to solutions is signalled by “However.” This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some control of progression. To make the flow more natural, reduce reliance on formulaic listing and connect each explanation directly to its main point. For example, “Because they consider them as their role models” is separated from the preceding sentence and leaves the reference slightly unclear. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than synthesising the causes and proposed actions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “consumerism,” “branded clothes,” “trendy clothes,” “financial budgeting” and “donation.” These choices allow the main ideas to be understood, and there is some attempt to use less common language. However, word choice and collocation are often imprecise or repetitive: “demands of shopping,” “show off in front of the society” and “take care about the environment” do not sound natural in context. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “nowdays” and “clotges,” alongside repeated use of “buy” and “clothes.” Build a more precise range for discussing overconsumption and solutions, and check spelling and collocations during editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay attempts both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause beginning “because” and conditional language in “If they have enough money.” The overall meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas less clear. Examples include “People today are like to buy,” “the younger generation … wants to copy,” and “this can be mitigate,” where verb forms or agreement are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: “Because they consider them as their role models” is a fragment, while several sentences run together without spaces after full stops or commas. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb patterns and complete sentence construction, then proofread punctuation. More consistently controlled complex sentences would strengthen the range.

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