Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Buying new dresses is becoming common trend in some countries because people want to look good and modern. However, this can be reduced by telling them that it increases their financial burden and it also hurts the people who can not afford new dresses. This essay will discuss the reasons and how people can be influenced that they limited their buying more clothes.

One of the most significant reasons behind this is that, individuals are usually buying more clothes to make their personality good infront of others. Moreover, they prefer to wear these new ones on occasions where everyone praised them. They feel happy and admired after listening good words for their party wears. Additionally, more females prefer to spend money to make themselves stylish.A greater proportion of people belive that, their friends not like them if they wear the same dress again and again. For example, In Asian contries, teachers are usually wear new and different style dress to listen compimentary words from their colleagues and from students as well.

In addition to this, it can be decreases by counseling them that it only makes burdenized you financially because individuals have to spend their income to continue this trend and this would leads to make them financially unstable. Similarly, by eduacting them how to spend money in a useful way to fulfill their basic needs in future. Another important point is that, tells them that everyone can not afford to buy new dresses, thus it creates negative feelings in poor people hearts and makes them sad. For instance, in most areas, companies make it compulsory to follow same dress code to protect emotions of poor people.

In conclusion, although this trend is spreading in different sates because human want to show themselves beautiful and modern infront of other, it can be controlled by teaching people about economic hardship and also inform them about feeling of sadness in non-affording people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the question: it identifies social approval, wanting to look modern, and concern about repeating outfits as reasons, then proposes financial education and awareness of the effect on people with less money. The position is clear, and the examples about teachers and workplace dress codes help make the discussion relevant. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that buying clothes hurts poorer people is not clearly connected to how this persuades individual shoppers to change their behaviour. The example of companies requiring a dress code also needs clarification, since it may not directly demonstrate a way to reduce excessive buying. Develop the cause-and-effect reasoning and make each proposed solution more directly actionable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. The reader can follow the main progression, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Additionally,” and “In conclusion” signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, the connections feel mechanical or unclear. “In addition to this” does not specify which earlier point is being extended, while the shift from financial hardship to the feelings of poorer people could be linked more explicitly. Some references, such as “this trend” and “it,” could also be made more precise. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each example directly to the point it supports to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “financial burden,” “financially unstable,” “dress code,” and “negative feelings.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the writer attempts some less common expressions. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, word forms, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural: “make their personality good,” “burdenized,” “compimentary,” and “non-affording people” are examples. There are also spelling errors such as “belive,” “eduacting,” and “contries.” Aim for natural combinations such as “improve their appearance” and “financially burdened,” and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise vocabulary would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “where,” and “although,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur and occasionally make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “it can be decreases” has an incorrect verb form, “this would leads” has faulty subject–verb agreement, and “teachers are usually wear” combines incompatible verb forms. There are also errors with articles, plurals, and sentence punctuation, as in “common trend” and the missing space after “stylish.” Practise forming passive constructions and checking the main verb in each clause. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences easier to read.

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