Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays,in many parts of the world ,individuals possess excessive clothes,the main reason for accumulation of too many clothes is because of the ongoing trends of varieties of brands outfit in our world globally today,is another is the streamline industries that are used in promoting such outfit,again the massive shoping malls and centers that advertise there goods and services through outlets and discount procedures to encourage patronage of there equipment.

First and foremost, trends in fashion is the main reason for the purchasing of many clothes,whereby manufacturing industries plays a vital role in producing varieties of outfit for the society in different shapes and styles .For instance big industries such as the Versace,Gucci,and Balanciaga are always on competition with one another in the production of fashion clothes for the society whereby, there usual targets are the youngsters of the generation, who are always after the trends and fashions of the world,which in turn creates the availability of too many clothes.

Additionally,the streamliners industries such as Facebook,Tik Tok and instagram ,they are platforms that are used for advertisement of goods and service .For instance once you go scrolling through instagram you will always be moving through gorgeous outfit that will be worth aquiring bacause of the beautiful designs packaging.used in advertising it takes a well diciplined individual to be able to aviod making such purchases and also another example is purchasing clothes online this makes it so easier to use this platforms to obtain the clothes with ease .Lastly is youngsters should stop patronizing each and a very trends,be able to be contended with what you have and avoid buying unnecessary buy ing of clothes online ,avoid obtaining each and every designer clothes.

in conclusion, I am of the opinion of on following trends and streamliners such as online shopping and also avoid visitating of each and every designer clothes for consumption .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: fashion trends, brands, advertising and online shopping are offered as reasons, while avoiding unnecessary purchases and being content with existing clothes are suggested as responses. The examples of Instagram and named fashion houses help make the causes more concrete. However, the explanation of how people can be persuaded is much less developed than the discussion of causes. Advice such as “be contended with what you have” is stated, but there is little explanation of how individuals or society could encourage this change. Your position is also difficult to identify in places, particularly in the opening and conclusion. Develop practical measures and explain why they would work to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an identifiable overall structure, moving from an introduction to reasons, further discussion and a conclusion. Paragraphing also helps separate the main points. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because several ideas are joined into long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the paragraph beginning “Additionally” moves from social-media advertising to online purchasing and then to advice about young people without clear transitions. Linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Additionally” and “Lastly” provide some signposting, but they are sometimes used mechanically or do not accurately show the relationship between ideas. Clearer topic sentences, shorter units of explanation and more precise referencing would make the argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “fashion,” “advertisement,” “discount procedures” and “purchasing,” and examples such as “gorgeous outfit” show an effort to describe the appeal of clothing. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unclear, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “streamliners industries,” “patronage of there equipment” and “avoid visitating of each and every designer clothes” are not natural expressions in this context. Spelling errors, including “shoping,” “aquiring” and “diciplined,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for simpler, precise wording and check spelling and common collocations; this will make your ideas clearer while retaining relevant topic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including explanations introduced by “whereby” and examples beginning “For instance.” However, complex sentences are often faulty or run together, and frequent errors can make the reader work to understand the relationships between ideas. For example, “the main reason … is because …, is another” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “manufacturing industries plays” has a subject–verb agreement error. There are also problems with articles, plurals and sentence boundaries, as in “fashion clothes for the society whereby, there usual targets.” Use one main idea per sentence, check that subjects and verbs agree, and review punctuation and sentence boundaries before submitting.

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