Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

people buy clothes

Some parts of the world ,people buy far too many clothes its depends on people .Some people want to wear world fashion clothes and some want to follow the trend of other country,famous actors, celebrities.Some people think brand names and manufacuture of items .Its depends on material .For example Sheeps and Goats are gives us diffrent wool it depends on weather like,those are growing on mountains they have diffrent kind of wool and cold region have diffrent strength of wool .It gives us best warm in cold seasons even model of stiching also differ from one place to another place .

It depends on quality of materials like weaving ,knetting the material and brand names have image like product quality .Some people like to buy far too many clothes .They have to wear variety of models should follow the trend and looks smart in society and so on .

In conclusion people buy far too many clothes from place to place brand to brand to produt to product have a lot of difference .That'sWhy people like to buy far too many clothes

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies several possible reasons for buying many clothes, including following fashion, copying celebrities, wanting variety, and seeking to look smart. However, it does not answer the second part of the task: no ways of persuading people to buy fewer clothes are proposed. The discussion of wool, materials, and manufacturing is only loosely connected to the question and does not develop the main reasons clearly. There is also no relevant example that supports the answer. The response contains 174 words, so it is 76 words below the required minimum; the 11 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To improve, address both questions directly, explain each idea, and include a practical example or solution.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into paragraphs, and the opening gives a general focus on clothing purchases. Some ideas are linked with phrases such as “For example” and “In conclusion.” However, the progression is difficult to follow: the discussion shifts from fashion and celebrities to sheep, wool, weaving, and product quality without showing clearly how these points connect to excessive buying. Repeated phrases such as “It depends” and “far too many clothes” make the response feel circular, while the conclusion mainly repeats the opening rather than summarising a developed argument. Use separate paragraphs for reasons and solutions, and connect each point with clear explanations and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “trend,” “brand names,” “material,” “quality,” and “variety,” so the reader can identify the general subject. There are also attempts at more specific terms such as “weaving” and “manufacturing.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are unclear or inaccurately formed, for example “world fashion clothes,” “have image,” and “best warm.” Spelling errors such as “diffrent,” “manufacuture,” and “stiching” also reduce precision. Build a more accurate set of phrases for the task, such as “keep up with fashion trends,” “buy on impulse,” and “encourage sustainable shopping,” and check spelling and natural word combinations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “Some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes its depends on people” joins clauses without correct punctuation and uses an incorrect verb form. In “Sheeps and Goats are gives us diffrent wool,” the subject–verb pattern is faulty, and the sentence structure is difficult to follow. Articles, plurals, agreement, and punctuation also need attention. Practise writing one clear main clause at a time, then add a subordinate clause accurately—for example, “Some people buy new clothes to follow trends, while others want more variety.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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